PUAmorePua Wiki
The pickup glossary: 89 terms from AFC to Wingman, sorted by the stages of a pickup.
Mindset How you think about yourself and women
- Abundance Mentality The belief that you have plenty of options with women, so no single interaction or rejection carries too much weight. It makes a man relaxed, less needy and more attractive.
- Scarcity Mentality The feeling that women and opportunities are rare, which makes a man needy, clingy and afraid of rejection. The opposite of an abundance mentality.
- Mindset Your beliefs and way of thinking about yourself, women and dating. In pickup it is seen as the foundation of every technique.
- Inner Game Inner game: the mental side of meeting people, meaning confidence, self-image, beliefs and how you handle rejection.
- Frame Control Frame control: keeping your own view and mood in a conversation instead of being pulled into someone else's, which in dating means staying calm and yourself.
- Alpha Male Alpha male: popular term for a confident, dominant, high-status man. The idea comes from old wolf studies that biologists have since largely dropped.
- Beta Male Beta male: informal label for a man seen as passive, approval-seeking or easy to push around, the opposite of the so-called alpha male.
- Sigma Male Sigma male: internet label for a confident 'lone wolf' who succeeds outside the social hierarchy instead of leading it. Popular in memes, not a scientific personality type.
- Sticking Point Sticking point: the specific step in meeting women where your interactions keep stalling, such as approaching, small talk, getting a number or the date.
- High Self-Esteem HSE High Self-Esteem: a solid, positive view of yourself that doesn't depend on any one woman's approval.
- Low Self-Esteem LSE Low Self-Esteem: a negative view of yourself that shows up as neediness, approval seeking and fear of rejection.
- Neediness Behaviour that shows you depend too much on a woman's approval, such as texting too much, agreeing with everything or rushing. It kills attraction.
- Oneitis An obsessive fixation on one woman, usually one who doesn't return the feelings, that makes a man needy and blind to other options.
- Fuck Ten Other Women FTOW Fuck Ten Other Women: advice for getting over a breakup or an obsession with one woman by meeting and dating other women.
- Average Frustrated Chump AFC Average Frustrated Chump: a man with little success with women who relies on niceness, gifts and waiting instead of showing honest interest and confidence.
- Sensitive New Age Guy SNAG Sensitive New Age Guy: a man who is overly agreeable and suppresses his masculine side in the hope of pleasing women.
- Master Pick Up Artist MPUA Master Pick Up Artist (MPUA): a man with highly developed skills in meeting and attracting women, often someone who teaches others.
- Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP Neuro-Linguistic Programming: an approach to communication and personal development from the 1970s, used by some pickup coaches for language patterns.
- Reticular Activation System RAS The part of the brain that filters what you notice. Once you focus on something, such as approach opportunities, you start seeing it everywhere.
Approach Meeting her and starting the conversation
- 3 Second Rule Approach a woman you like within about three seconds of noticing her, before nervousness and overthinking talk you out of it.
- Approach Anxiety AA The nervousness or fear a man feels before talking to a woman he finds attractive. It shrinks with practice and many small approaches.
- Approach Invitation AI A signal, conscious or not, that a woman would welcome being approached, such as repeated eye contact, a smile or standing close by.
- Direct Game Approaching a woman by showing your interest openly from the start, for example by telling her you find her attractive, instead of using a pretext.
- Cold Approach Cold approach: starting a conversation with a stranger you have no connection to, with no introduction, shared friends or earlier contact.
- Daygame Daygame: meeting women during the day, in streets, parks, shops or cafés, as opposed to nightgame in bars and clubs.
- Outer Game Outer game: the visible side of meeting people, meaning your looks, style, body language, voice and what you say and do.
- Peacocking Peacocking: wearing a distinctive item, such as a bold hat or unusual jewellery, so that people notice you and start the conversation themselves.
- False Time Constraint FTC Saying early on that you can only stay for a minute, so a woman or group relaxes and doesn't worry that you will stay forever.
- Bodyrocking Body language that signals you are about to leave, such as leaning or half turning away, so a group feels no pressure while you talk. It is the non-verbal version of a false time constraint.
- Routines - Canned Material Prepared stories, games or lines used in conversation with women. Useful for beginners, but they work best when told naturally.
- Target Pickup slang for the woman a man wants to meet within a group.
- Hot Babe HB Hot Babe: community shorthand for an attractive woman, sometimes with a rating such as HB8.
- Wing / Wingman / Wingwoman A friend who helps you meet women, for example by talking to her friends so you can focus on her. A woman who does this is a wingwoman.
- Newbie Mission Small, gradually harder social challenges, such as asking strangers for the time, that help beginners build confidence for approaching women.
- Travel Pick-Up TPU Meeting and dating women while travelling abroad, where being a newcomer can make approaches easier.
Attraction Signals, value and building interest
- Indicator of Interest IOI Indicator of Interest: signs that a woman likes you, such as asking questions, touching you, laughing a lot or staying close.
- Indicator of Disinterest IOD Indicator of Disinterest: signs that a woman isn't interested, such as short answers, turning away or avoiding eye contact.
- Demonstrate Higher Value DHV Demonstration of Higher Value: a story, behaviour or social cue that shows qualities such as status, humour or leadership without bragging.
- Cocky & Funny CF A playful mix of confident teasing and humour that creates attraction without being rude. It works best with a smile and good intentions.
- Negging Negging: a backhanded compliment or mild put-down meant to make a woman less sure of herself. Widely criticised as manipulative, and it often backfires.
- Push-Pull Push-pull: switching between warmth and playful distance, so that interest does not flatten out. Done clumsily it reads as mixed signals and games.
- Banter Banter: light, playful back-and-forth teasing and joking between two people, a way to flirt and show humour without being serious.
- Qualification Qualification: asking a woman to show what makes her interesting to you, so that attraction is not one-sided. Used well, it is simply curiosity.
- Disqualifier Disqualifier: a playful remark suggesting the two of you might not be a good match, used to show you are relaxed and not trying to impress her.
- Cold Reading Cold reading: making general statements about a person that feel personal, a trick from mentalists and psychics, used in pickup as playful 'readings'.
- Eye Contact EC Holding a woman's gaze calmly and confidently. Good eye contact signals interest and self-assurance; avoiding it signals nervousness.
- Social Proof SP The value people assume you have when others clearly like you, for example when you arrive with friends or women are already talking to you.
- Propinquity Effect The tendency to grow fond of people we see often. Spending regular time around someone increases the chance of attraction.
- Hook Point HP The moment in a conversation when a woman becomes invested and wants to keep talking. After it you can exchange numbers, change venue or escalate.
- Compliance Test CT A small request, such as moving with you to another spot, that shows how invested a woman is in the interaction. If she follows easily, her interest is growing.
- Shit Test Shit test: a provocative question or remark that checks how you react under pressure, such as 'Do you say that to every girl?'
- Buying Temperature BT How sexually receptive a woman is at a given moment. It differs from attraction to one particular man and can rise or fall with mood and situation.
- Alpha Male Other Guy AMOG Alpha Male Other Guy: another confident man who competes with you for the attention of a woman or her group.
- AMOG Destroyers Tactics meant to put down a competing alpha male in front of a woman. Usually they backfire; staying friendly and confident works better.
Escalation Touch, kiss, numbers and dates
- Kino Escalation Gradually introducing physical touch, from light touches on the arm to holding hands and kissing, while checking that she welcomes it.
- Kiss Close KC Ending an interaction with a kiss. It is the step between the number close and the fuck close.
- Number Close NC Ending a first interaction by exchanging phone numbers so you can meet again.
- Facebook Close FBC Ending a first interaction by connecting on Facebook or another social network instead of exchanging numbers.
- Instant Date Moving straight from meeting a woman to a short date, for example a coffee nearby, instead of arranging one for later.
- Day 2 Day 2: the second meeting with a woman after you first met and swapped numbers, usually a date. Often the first real test after a good approach.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Pre-Me Leaving a conversation with a woman too early, usually because you run out of things to say or feel awkward, even though it was going well.
- Anti-Slut Defense ASD Anti-Slut Defense: a woman's reluctance to move things forward when she fears being judged as "easy". It eases when she feels comfortable and things happen naturally.
- Last Minute Resistance LMR Last Minute Resistance: a woman's hesitation just before sex. It should always be respected; slowing down and building comfort is the right response.
- Fuck Close FC Pickup slang for sleeping with a woman you met, the last step after the kiss close.
- Same Day Lay SDL Meeting a woman during the day and sleeping with her the same day.
- Same Night Lay SNL Meeting a woman at night, for example in a bar or club, and sleeping with her the same night.
- One Night Stand ONS A single sexual encounter with no expectation of a relationship afterwards.
- Sex Drive HSD / LSD A person's desire for sex (libido). It differs from person to person and is shaped by hormones, health, stress and lifestyle.
Schools Famous systems, companies and worldviews
- Mystery Method Mystery Method: the pickup system of Erik von Markovik (Mystery), known as M3, which splits an interaction into attraction, comfort and seduction.
- Real Social Dynamics RSD Real Social Dynamics (RSD): the Los Angeles dating-coaching company founded by Owen Cook (Tyler Durden) and Nick Kho (Papa), known for in-field bootcamps.
- Red Pill Red pill: slang for 'seeing the truth', taken from The Matrix. In dating it names a worldview about men and women that is popular online and highly disputed.
After Flakes, friend zone and what comes next
- Flake A woman who agrees to meet or to stay in touch and then cancels, doesn't show up or stops replying.
- Friend Zone FZ A situation in which a woman sees a man only as a friend, often because he hid his romantic interest for too long.
- Let's Just Be Friend LJBF Let's Just Be Friends: a woman's polite way of saying she isn't interested romantically.
- Fuck Buddy FB A woman you have casual, regular sex with and no commitment to a relationship.
- Long Term Relationship LTR Long Term Relationship: an exclusive, committed relationship between a man and a woman.
Modern dating Apps, texting and today's dating habits
- Ghosting Ending contact with someone you were dating or texting by suddenly going silent, without any explanation.
- Breadcrumbing Sending occasional flirty messages or likes to keep someone interested, with no real intention of meeting or committing.
- Love Bombing Overwhelming someone with affection, compliments, gifts and attention very early on, at a pace that feels too fast to be natural.
- Situationship A romantic or sexual connection that is more than a friendship but has no label, no clear commitment and no agreed direction.
- Talking Stage The early phase of getting to know someone romantically, before a date, a label or any promise of exclusivity.
- Benching Keeping someone on hold as a backup option, with occasional contact, while the other person pursues better options.
- Slow Fade Ending a dating connection by gradually answering less and less instead of saying it is over.
- Orbiting When someone who has stopped messaging you keeps watching your social media, viewing your stories and liking your posts.
- Zombieing When someone who ghosted you reappears weeks or months later with a message as if nothing had happened.
- Gaslighting Making someone doubt their own memory, perception or feelings, for example by denying what was said or done.
- Catfishing Pretending to be someone else online, with fake photos or a made-up identity, to start a relationship.
- Cuffing Season The colder months of the year, roughly autumn to winter, when many people look for a relationship to get through the season.
- Rizz Slang for charm and flirting skill: the ability to attract and win over a romantic interest with confidence and wit.
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