Eye Contact

Eye Contact is a form of non-verbal communication whereby two people hold their gaze with the other person’s eyes. Eye contact is one of the most important and powerful forms of communication and is essential in almost all forms of interaction. The eyes are used to convey a vast range of emotions and expressions, and serves as an important tool in the arsenal of a man attempting to seduce a female. Being able to maintain good, strong eye contact is vitally important during an interaction with a woman. Holding their gaze can be seductive and can act as a strong indicator of self confidence. Guys who cannot maintain eye contact end up looking nervous and awkward, which conveys a lack of confidence and is therefore not an attractive quality to have. That said, there are right and wrong ways to make eye contact with a girl:

  • Holding eye contact with no breaks is a bit creepy and screams “psycho!”. Don’t use psycho eyes. It’s ok to break eye contact every so often as it relieves pressure from the interaction. Constant, solid eye contact can be intimidating an unnatural and will have the opposite effect of being seductive.
  • Only making very brief, occasional eye contact and generally looking around the environment is another example of poor eye contact. A man must be able to maintain eye contact, especially when the girl is doing the talking. It is more natural and common to break eye contact when you yourself are talking, as the eyes tend to wander as you gather your thoughts or recollect a story. Holding eye contact whilst doing the talking reduces the expressiveness of what is being said and is also distracting to the listener, as their focus is fixed on the odd and constant eye contact, rather than allowing themselves to be drawn to the story and subsequent gestures of animation.
  • Good eye contact involves conveying a feeling or emotion with the eyes. When a person smiles, their eyes should smile, too. This has the effect of ‘softening’ the eye contact. Hard, staring eye contact is, as mentioned already – creepy. Likewise, smiling without moving your eyes comes across as fake. This kind of smile is typically done when the smile is covering up the opposite emotion, for example, when trying to smile having just received terrible news. The mouth moves and looks like a smile, but the eye muscles don’t move, the eyebrows don’t tilt and as such, it looks weird and forced. It’s better to not smile at all if it is not genuine, tan to force a weird looking, creepy smile.
  • Maintaining eye contact whilst looking every so slightly out of the corner of the eye, rather than dead-on, is more seductive. Again, it serves the purpose of softening the eye contact which removes pressure and generally feels more comfortable for both parties. It also has a slightly playful or cheeky vibe to it, whereas constant, prolonged eye contact from directly in front of the girl can be a little intense and awkward, particularly if the conversation runs dry. In an intimate setting, this effect is best achieved by sitting at 90 degrees to the girl, rather than being sat in front of her, like in an interview. A similar effect is achieved through lowering the chin and looking up slightly with the eyes, as if peering above the rim of a pair of sunglasses.

Good, seductive eye contact should always be done with ‘soft’ eyes, and a small, cheeky smile. The gaze should be held only as long as is comfortable and natural. Prolonged, ‘hard’ eye contact with no breaks or softening of the eyes is more Ted Bundy-esque than Casanova! Another trick is to focus mostly on one eye. Looking at both eyes at the same time is impossible, and makes your own eyes move rapidly from side to side. Don’t continuously stare at the same eye, as this can be a little weird and noticeable, but switch focus every so often so that it is a more subtle transition.