Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation

Premature Ejectulation, or ‘Pre-Me’ is the term given to a guy who exits (or, ‘ejects’) from an interaction with a girl much too soon. This problem is common among guys who are just starting to interact and attempt to pick-up and attract women. There are a number of reasons that guys will eject themselves from an interaction early:

  • The most common reason for Pre-Me is when the man runs out of things to say. In this instance, he doesn’t know how to take the interaction forward and feels the pressure and ensuing awkwardness of the imminent silence. To spare himself the perceived embarrassment, he will make his excuses and leave.
  • Another reason for Pre-Me is when the girl isn’t giving much back by way of a response. For example, she may only be responding with one or two word answers and not opening up or investing in the interaction. As before, the man will start to find it difficult to continue the interaction, and – rather than stick it out – eject himself from the situation.
  • Another typical reason for a man ejecting from an interaction with a girl too early is when he fails to recognise her interest. When guys are starting out, just stopping her on the street or interacting with her in some way may be a big step for them. The hard part, it seems, is actually going up and talking to them in the first place. As they are not used to the situation, and as they’ve already done what they consider to be the hardest part, they leave straight after they have opened – even if the girl was interested or attracted. They either fail to recognise her interest, or feel that they have already accomplished something with the open itself, so neglect to carry the interaction forward.
  • A less talked about reason for Pre-Me is fear of success. This is where the man ejects himself precisely because it is going so well. Too well, in fact. Often this comes about as a result of the man being scared to ruin the interaction by going for the close. For example, the interaction may be going great but he feels that he might ruin it by asking for the number. He therefore gets stuck in a cycle of being really good at opening, holding a conversation etc… but can never get the number or seal the deal through fear or rejection or possible success. In the latter case, he may be sexually inexperienced or had little experience with dates, so if he was to successfully take her number or seduce her to the bedroom, he’d be re-experiencing the same anxiety and fear that he first felt when he learned to stop and talk girls at the start of his journey.

It is important that the guy stays ‘in set’ for as long as possible. This doesn’t mean becoming a pest or a nuisance towards women, it simply means not leaving at the first signs of difficulty. Often, if a girl isn’t giving much back conversationally, it could simply be that she is shy. It takes careful persistence to get her out of her shell. Not only that, but leaving early means that the guy never gets used to the feeling of uncomfortableness, which is necessary to progress. He also never stays in long enough to figure out how to turn the situation around. At the same time, it doesn’t mean that every interaction should be ploughed and burnt to the ground. If you’re in a club, for example, it can be beneficial to have a succession of short interactions here and there to amp your state. In this instance, you can always re-open later in the night, so that Pre-Me is used tactically and in a beneficial manor.