“Let’s Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship. This is also known as being put into the ‘Friend Zone’. There are two main reasons that a guy will find himself stuck in the friend zone, or hearing those dreaded four words:
1. The man failed to create attraction or demonstrate intent towards the girl.
The first instance is the most common. Often times a guy will like a girl but be too shy, unconfident or scared of being rejected to actually express any interest in the girl. As a result of this fear, he ‘plays it safe’ – in other words, he doesn’t banter or flirt with the girl, nor does he reveal in any way, shape or form that he is attracted to the girl and may actually deny feeling attracted to the girl when questioned. For a girl to be interested in a guy sexually, she has to feel attracted, which comes from bantering, flirting and teasing, as well through displaying strong masculine characteristics, such as confidence, risk taking and being challenging. The fastest way to being friend zoned is to avoid all or most of these necessary behaviours. The girl will most likely never even know of a guy’s interest if no teasing, flirting or displays of intent take place. The girl will therefore simply see the guy as a friend or a brother.
2. The man created attraction but failed to act upon this quickly enough.
In the second instance, the guy has created attraction through bantering, teasing and flirting, but has failed to escalate or act upon the interest of the girl. The vast majority of the time, the guy must make the first move. If attraction is generated between a man and a woman but the man does not follow this up with say, a kiss (or kiss attempt), then over time the girl will either a) assume that the guy isn’t interested in her sexually, or b) that the guy is unconfident and unsure of himself and therefore too scared to make a move, resulting in a loss of attraction on her part.
To avoid the “Let’s Just Be Friends” line, you MUST…
• Generate attraction though teasing, flirting and being fun and playful.
• Act upon the attraction by taking a risk – kissing, hand holding, inviting her out on a date…
The pain of getting rejected after taking a risk and going for a kiss with a girl you think is interested, is significantly less painful or soul-destroying than having never tried at all and eventually becoming friend zoned.