Approach Anxiety

AA is the term used to describe the feelings of nervousness or fear a man starts to experience when he sees a girl he is attracted to. This 'fear' usually manifests itself in a number of different ways - some of these manifestations are physical phenomenon, and include things such as:

• Sensing 'butterflies' in the pit of the stomach and chest.

• An increased heart rate and quicker, heavier breathing.

• Dry mouth and throat.

• Increased temperature and sweating.

• Shaking or jittering.

• Slurred or rushed speech.

These reactions that our bodies produce are a physical manifestation of what is happening in our heads when we see the girl we are attracted to. The mental aspects of AA act as the catalyst for the physical sensations we experience, and are often derived from thoughts such as:

• Not knowing what to say to the girl.

• Thinking that you will be judged negatively by anyone who witnesses your 'approach', such as strangers, your friends or the friends of the girl (social pressure).

• Thinking that the girl will not be interested in you (low self-esteem and fear of rejection).

• Self consciousness regarding your own physical appearance.

• Thinking that what you are doing is 'weird' or creepy (usually because it goes against what you perceive as being a 'normal' social convention).

These patterns of thought are extremely common and most men will experience them repeatedly during their life time. As the physical elements of AA are caused as a result of the mental side of AA, the best method for overcoming this common hurdle is to eradicate or limit the prevalence of the problematic thought patterns. While there are a number of differing ways in which to help control these patterns of negative thought, the most effective solution is to challenge these thoughts through experience – in other words, doing the very thing that you fear... Approaching.