Instant Date

An ‘instant date’ is the act of taking a girl you have just met to a different location in order to carry on the interaction. Most commonly, Instant Dates (or, iD’s) take place during day time pick-up or ‘daygame’, where a man will take a girl he has met on the street, mall or park (or any regular day time setting) to a coffee shop (or a pub/bar if it is a little later in the evening). The main purpose of taking a girl on an iD is to develop comfort with the girl in a more relaxed, cosy and secluded environment. It is also particularly effective during the colder months or when weather conditions are bad, as an instant date can be the perfect excuse to carry on an interaction that would otherwise be cut short if it was hammering down with rain, for example. Taking a girl on an instant date is a massive bonus – and all but guarantee – of solidifying phone numbers and avoiding flakes.

The best time to take a girl on an instant date is about 5 – 10 minutes into the interaction. If you have been talking to a girl for this amount of time, it suggests quite strongly that she is interested and is enjoying the conversation. Look for the signs that she has ‘hooked’; is she asking you questions? Is she doing a lot more of the talking than early on (opening up to you)? Are her legs crossed? Is she smiling, playing with her hair or visibly having fun (laughing, joking and bantering)? If the answer is yes to most of the these questions, and she’s not in a rush to be somewhere else, suggest the cafe or pub.

In order to get her to come with you to the coffee shop, it’s important to make it feel casual and spontaneous. Drop in a false time constraint and lead with something like, “Right, I’m meeting my friend in 15 minutes but was going to grab a quick coffee first… Do you have 5 minutes?”. By suggesting it will be a “quick coffee” and only “5 minutes”, you verbally display that it is no big deal, that it requires no big commitment and that it is just a casual, spontaneous way of carrying on a conversation that would otherwise take place where you currently are. You also mention having to leave to “meet a friend” (or whatever excuse you choose), so she knows in advance she isn’t committing much of her time. Once on the date, focus the conversation on her, get her to invest and find the topic she really enjoys talking about – her passions, hobbies, and how those things make her feel. If possible, try to sit next to each other, however, this isn’t overly important. If she refuses the iD, this is the perfect opportunity to number close… “Ok no worries, we’ll grab a latte another time when we’re both free”.

The date should last no more that 20 or so minutes, and make sure you are the one to end it. Take the number, and a follow up date should be in the bag.