PUAmoreBreadcrumbing
Definition
Sending occasional flirty messages or likes to keep someone interested, with no real intention of meeting or committing.
Contents · 4 sections
Breadcrumbing means dropping small bits of attention, just enough to keep someone hoping, without ever following through. The messages are friendly, sometimes flirty, but the date never happens and the relationship never moves forward.
It sits between ghosting and a real connection: the person does not disappear, but does not really show up either.
Signs
- Contact comes in bursts: a “thinking of you” or a like on your photo, then days of nothing.
- Vague plans such as “we should do something soon” that never turn into a day and time.
- Messages are warm but stay on the surface, and she or he rarely asks anything about you.
- You are the one who always has to start the conversation or make the plan.
Not everyone who does this is playing a game. Some people are unsure what they want, busy, or poor at texting. The behaviour is the same for you either way.
Read nextOrbitingExample
Her: Hey stranger, I was just thinking about you :)
You: Nice to hear from you! Free for a drink Thursday?
Her: Thursday is crazy. Let’s catch up soon!
(two weeks of silence, then a like on your story)
How to react
- Ask for a concrete plan. “Saturday at 7, the wine bar on Main Street?” A person who is interested says yes or suggests another time. A breadcrumber stays vague.
- Judge actions, not words. If nothing becomes real within a week or two, treat it as a no.
- Stop being the only one who invests. Answer when it suits you, and don’t build your day around a notification.
- Say it once. “I’d like to actually meet. If that’s not what you want, no hard feelings.”
Waiting for someone who shows IOIs only in text form is a fast way to slip into neediness. Stay active in your dating life instead, for example with Tinder openers that aim straight at a date.
How to avoid doing it
If you are not interested in meeting someone, don’t keep them warm “just in case”. Be clear, or let the conversation end.
Keep reading
Keep exploring
- Slow Fade A slow fade is a gradual way of ending things. Instead of a clear goodbye, one person simply replies later, writes shorter messages and…
- Situationship A situationship is something between friends and a relationship.
- Talking Stage The talking stage is the early phase in which two people text or call, flirt and see whether they want to take things further.
- Zombieing Zombieing is when a person who vanished from your life suddenly comes back to life.
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- Average Frustrated Chump An Average Frustrated Chump is a guy who simply has no clue as to how to attract a female.
- Alpha Male "Alpha male" is a popular label for a man who seems confident, dominant and high in status, the one others follow and women notice.
- Beta Male "Beta male" is an informal label for a man who is seen as passive, shy, approval-seeking or easy to push around.
- Frame Control A frame is the point of view that shapes how an interaction feels: who is leading, what is serious, what is a joke and what the situation…
- Inner Game Inner game is the mental side of dating: your confidence, your beliefs about yourself and women, your self-image and the way you handle…
- Cold Approach A cold approach means starting a conversation with a stranger, with no earlier contact, no introduction and no shared context such as…
- Daygame Daygame (also written day game) means meeting and approaching women during the day: on the street, in parks, shops, cafés, libraries or on…
- Outer Game Outer game is everything other people can see and hear: how you look, dress and move, your voice, your body language, what you say and how…
- Peacocking Peacocking means wearing something eye-catching on purpose, for example an unusual hat, a bold scarf or striking jewellery, so that people…
- Hot Babe HB stands for Hot Babe (or sometimes Hunny Bunny) and refers to an attractive women.
- Banter Banter is playful back-and-forth talk: light teasing, jokes and quick comebacks that both people enjoy.
- Cold Reading Cold reading is a way of making statements about a person that seem highly personal but are in fact general or based on clues you can see.
- Disqualifier A disqualifier is a playful remark that jokingly "rules you out" as a match, or her as one for you.
- Negging Negging means giving a woman a backhanded compliment or a mild put-down, so that she feels slightly unsure and starts to look for your…
- Push-Pull Push-pull means alternating between closeness and playful distance in a conversation: a compliment or warm moment (the "pull"), followed by…
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- One Night Stand A one night stand is a sexual encounter that is both brief and casual in nature.
- Sex Drive High Sex Drive (Libido) refers to a man's physiological and psychological urge or desire to indulge in sexual activity with a woman.
- Kiss Close A Kiss Close or KC is when a man successfully kisses a girl he is attempting to seduce.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Premature Ejectulation, or 'Pre-Me' is the term given to a guy who exits (or, 'ejects') from an interaction with a girl much too soon.
- Mystery Method The Mystery Method is a pickup system created by the Canadian Erik von Markovik, who goes by the name Mystery. It is also called M3.
- Real Social Dynamics Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, is a dating-coaching company based in Los Angeles.
- Red Pill "Red pill" is internet slang for waking up to an uncomfortable truth. It comes from the film "The Matrix"
- Friend Zone The 'Friend Zone' refers to a situation whereby a man has found himself stuck in a platonic, non-sexual relationship with her a girl he is…
- Fuck Buddy A Fuck Buddy (FB) is a girl that a man enjoys frequent but casual sex with no real desire for making the relationship monogamous or…
- Long Term Relationship A long term relationship "LTR" is typically when a man and woman pledge exclusivity to one another.
- Let's Just Be Friend “Let's Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship.
- Flake A 'flake' is the term given to a girl who does not get back in touch with you after either the initial meeting or an exchange of messages.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Catfishing Catfishing means building an online relationship under a false identity. The "catfish"
- Cuffing Season Cuffing season is the stretch of autumn and winter in which many singles say they want a partner, "cuffed"
- Gaslighting Gaslighting means getting another person to doubt their own memory, judgement or feelings.
- Ghosting Ghosting means cutting off all contact without a word. Messages stay unanswered, calls go unreturned and the person simply disappears,…