PUAmoreFrame Control
Definition
Frame control: keeping your own view and mood in a conversation instead of being pulled into someone else's, which in dating means staying calm and yourself.
Contents · 3 sections
A frame is the point of view that shapes how an interaction feels: who is leading, what is serious, what is a joke and what the situation means. Frame control means holding your own frame calmly instead of being pulled into someone else’s. In pickup language you “hold frame” when you stay relaxed and consistent while others test, push or tease you.
How it works
Every conversation has a frame, whether anyone notices or not. If she treats the moment as an interview and you answer like an applicant, she has set the frame. If you stay light, ask your own questions and say what you want, the frame stays shared and balanced. This is a matter of attitude rather than of dominating anyone.
Typical situations:
- She teases you. Smiling and teasing back keeps your frame; getting defensive gives it away.
- A friend of hers gives you a hard time. A calm answer works better than a speech. See AMOG.
- She makes a small request to see what you do. See compliance test and shit test.
Example
Her: “So what makes you think you’re special?” You (smiling): “Nothing at all. I’m just curious what makes you suspicious of strangers.”
You neither defend yourself nor attack her. You stay curious and return the conversation to a shared footing.
Common mistakes
- Mistaking frame for control. Frame control is not about winning or about getting her to do things. If you need to be right all the time, that is neediness in disguise.
- Overreacting. Holding a frame is quiet. If you argue to defend it, you have already lost it.
- Ignoring her. A good frame has space for the other person’s view. If she says no, the answer is no.
The same idea appears in relationships: knowing your own values and not dropping them under pressure. For a longer take on keeping your sexual direction while being a challenge, see How to combine a Sexual Frame and being a Challenge.
Keep reading
Keep exploring
- Abundance Mentality Abundance Mentality refers to the mindset and subsequent behaviours associated with a man who has many girls and options in his life.
- Mindset Your believes and way of thinking. It's a result of your environment, how you were raised by your parents, the friends that influenced you,…
- Low Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem is the exact opposite of high self-esteem, and is where the man will have negative thoughts and feelings about himself.
- High Self-Esteem Having high self-esteem refers to someone who has a good or positive view about themselves.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Alpha Male "Alpha male" is a popular label for a man who seems confident, dominant and high in status, the one others follow and women notice.
- Beta Male "Beta male" is an informal label for a man who is seen as passive, shy, approval-seeking or easy to push around.
- Inner Game Inner game is the mental side of dating: your confidence, your beliefs about yourself and women, your self-image and the way you handle…
- Sticking Point A sticking point is the one step where your interactions regularly get stuck.
- Oneitis Oneitis is the term used to describe the suffering a man feels when he has developed an attachment to a particular girl who does not feel…
- Cold Approach A cold approach means starting a conversation with a stranger, with no earlier contact, no introduction and no shared context such as…
- Daygame Daygame (also written day game) means meeting and approaching women during the day: on the street, in parks, shops, cafés, libraries or on…
- Outer Game Outer game is everything other people can see and hear: how you look, dress and move, your voice, your body language, what you say and how…
- Peacocking Peacocking means wearing something eye-catching on purpose, for example an unusual hat, a bold scarf or striking jewellery, so that people…
- Hot Babe HB stands for Hot Babe (or sometimes Hunny Bunny) and refers to an attractive women.
- Banter Banter is playful back-and-forth talk: light teasing, jokes and quick comebacks that both people enjoy.
- Cold Reading Cold reading is a way of making statements about a person that seem highly personal but are in fact general or based on clues you can see.
- Disqualifier A disqualifier is a playful remark that jokingly "rules you out" as a match, or her as one for you.
- Negging Negging means giving a woman a backhanded compliment or a mild put-down, so that she feels slightly unsure and starts to look for your…
- Push-Pull Push-pull means alternating between closeness and playful distance in a conversation: a compliment or warm moment (the "pull"), followed by…
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- One Night Stand A one night stand is a sexual encounter that is both brief and casual in nature.
- Sex Drive High Sex Drive (Libido) refers to a man's physiological and psychological urge or desire to indulge in sexual activity with a woman.
- Kiss Close A Kiss Close or KC is when a man successfully kisses a girl he is attempting to seduce.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Premature Ejectulation, or 'Pre-Me' is the term given to a guy who exits (or, 'ejects') from an interaction with a girl much too soon.
- Red Pill "Red pill" is internet slang for waking up to an uncomfortable truth. It comes from the film "The Matrix"
- Mystery Method The Mystery Method is a pickup system created by the Canadian Erik von Markovik, who goes by the name Mystery. It is also called M3.
- Real Social Dynamics Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, is a dating-coaching company based in Los Angeles.
- Long Term Relationship A long term relationship "LTR" is typically when a man and woman pledge exclusivity to one another.
- Fuck Buddy A Fuck Buddy (FB) is a girl that a man enjoys frequent but casual sex with no real desire for making the relationship monogamous or…
- Friend Zone The 'Friend Zone' refers to a situation whereby a man has found himself stuck in a platonic, non-sexual relationship with her a girl he is…
- Let's Just Be Friend “Let's Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship.
- Flake A 'flake' is the term given to a girl who does not get back in touch with you after either the initial meeting or an exchange of messages.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Breadcrumbing Breadcrumbing means dropping small bits of attention, just enough to keep someone hoping, without ever following through.
- Catfishing Catfishing means building an online relationship under a false identity. The "catfish"
- Cuffing Season Cuffing season is the stretch of autumn and winter in which many singles say they want a partner, "cuffed"
- Gaslighting Gaslighting means getting another person to doubt their own memory, judgement or feelings.