PUAmoreMindset
Definition
Your beliefs and way of thinking about yourself, women and dating. In pickup it is seen as the foundation of every technique.
Contents · 3 sections
Your believes and way of thinking. It's a result of your environment, how you were raised by your parents, the friends that influenced you, the people around you and your own experiences. It's also called your own reality.
What mindset means in dating
In pickup and dating advice, mindset is what you believe about yourself, about women and about rejection before you say a word. It decides how you stand, how you speak and how you react when a conversation goes badly. It is treated as the foundation of every technique: a clever line said with a needy attitude still sounds needy.
- Scarcity: "chances are rare, so this one must work." It leads to neediness; see scarcity mentality.
- Abundance: "there are plenty of people to meet, so one result does not decide anything." See abundance mentality.
Outcome independence
The key idea is outcome independence: you enjoy the conversation whether or not it ends in a number or a date. Your goal is to say hello, be friendly and be yourself, and the result is not in your control.
Example: two men are told "Sorry, I have a boyfriend." One thinks "I'm not good enough" and goes home. The other says "No problem, nice to meet you" and enjoys the rest of the evening. The words were the same, the mindset was not.
How to build a stronger mindset
- Set goals you control, such as "talk to three new people" instead of "get a number".
- Collect small experiences often. Easy, low-pressure conversations reduce approach anxiety over time.
- Build a life you like: friends, hobbies, health and work, so dating is one part of it. See Pillars of self-development.
- After each attempt, note what went well before you note what to improve.
A healthy mindset is not about seeing women as scores. It means being at ease with yourself, treating people well and accepting a "no" calmly. Related: high self-esteem and low self-esteem.
Keep reading
Keep exploring
- Oneitis Oneitis is the term used to describe the suffering a man feels when he has developed an attachment to a particular girl who does not feel…
- Scarcity Mentality A Scarcity Mentality refers to the mindset and subsequent set of behaviours associated with a person who has limited options in their life,…
- Abundance Mentality Abundance Mentality refers to the mindset and subsequent behaviours associated with a man who has many girls and options in his life.
- Low Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem is the exact opposite of high self-esteem, and is where the man will have negative thoughts and feelings about himself.
- High Self-Esteem Having high self-esteem refers to someone who has a good or positive view about themselves.
- Sigma Male "Sigma male" is an internet label for a man who is confident, self-sufficient and successful, but stays outside the usual social hierarchy…
- Alpha Male "Alpha male" is a popular label for a man who seems confident, dominant and high in status, the one others follow and women notice.
- Beta Male "Beta male" is an informal label for a man who is seen as passive, shy, approval-seeking or easy to push around.
- Frame Control A frame is the point of view that shapes how an interaction feels: who is leading, what is serious, what is a joke and what the situation…
- Inner Game Inner game is the mental side of dating: your confidence, your beliefs about yourself and women, your self-image and the way you handle…
- Cold Approach A cold approach means starting a conversation with a stranger, with no earlier contact, no introduction and no shared context such as…
- Daygame Daygame (also written day game) means meeting and approaching women during the day: on the street, in parks, shops, cafés, libraries or on…
- Outer Game Outer game is everything other people can see and hear: how you look, dress and move, your voice, your body language, what you say and how…
- Peacocking Peacocking means wearing something eye-catching on purpose, for example an unusual hat, a bold scarf or striking jewellery, so that people…
- Hot Babe HB stands for Hot Babe (or sometimes Hunny Bunny) and refers to an attractive women.
- Banter Banter is playful back-and-forth talk: light teasing, jokes and quick comebacks that both people enjoy.
- Cold Reading Cold reading is a way of making statements about a person that seem highly personal but are in fact general or based on clues you can see.
- Disqualifier A disqualifier is a playful remark that jokingly "rules you out" as a match, or her as one for you.
- Negging Negging means giving a woman a backhanded compliment or a mild put-down, so that she feels slightly unsure and starts to look for your…
- Push-Pull Push-pull means alternating between closeness and playful distance in a conversation: a compliment or warm moment (the "pull"), followed by…
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- One Night Stand A one night stand is a sexual encounter that is both brief and casual in nature.
- Sex Drive High Sex Drive (Libido) refers to a man's physiological and psychological urge or desire to indulge in sexual activity with a woman.
- Kiss Close A Kiss Close or KC is when a man successfully kisses a girl he is attempting to seduce.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Premature Ejectulation, or 'Pre-Me' is the term given to a guy who exits (or, 'ejects') from an interaction with a girl much too soon.
- Red Pill "Red pill" is internet slang for waking up to an uncomfortable truth. It comes from the film "The Matrix"
- Mystery Method The Mystery Method is a pickup system created by the Canadian Erik von Markovik, who goes by the name Mystery. It is also called M3.
- Real Social Dynamics Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, is a dating-coaching company based in Los Angeles.
- Long Term Relationship A long term relationship "LTR" is typically when a man and woman pledge exclusivity to one another.
- Fuck Buddy A Fuck Buddy (FB) is a girl that a man enjoys frequent but casual sex with no real desire for making the relationship monogamous or…
- Friend Zone The 'Friend Zone' refers to a situation whereby a man has found himself stuck in a platonic, non-sexual relationship with her a girl he is…
- Let's Just Be Friend “Let's Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship.
- Flake A 'flake' is the term given to a girl who does not get back in touch with you after either the initial meeting or an exchange of messages.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Breadcrumbing Breadcrumbing means dropping small bits of attention, just enough to keep someone hoping, without ever following through.
- Catfishing Catfishing means building an online relationship under a false identity. The "catfish"
- Cuffing Season Cuffing season is the stretch of autumn and winter in which many singles say they want a partner, "cuffed"
- Gaslighting Gaslighting means getting another person to doubt their own memory, judgement or feelings.