Shit Test

A shit test is a provocative or challenging remark that checks how you react when you are put under a little pressure. In the pickup community the idea is that a woman uses such remarks to see whether a man stays calm and confident or becomes defensive, needy or flattering. The term is closely related to the compliance test, where she asks you to do something small to see how you respond.

Typical examples

• “Do you say that to every girl?”
• “You’re probably a player.”
• “Why should I talk to you?”
• “My boyfriend would not like this.”

How to respond

What matters is not the clever answer but the state you answer from. The usual advice is:

• Stay relaxed. A quick breath and a smile beat a defensive explanation.
• Answer with humour or honesty. “Only the ones who ask me that” is light; a calm, truthful answer also works.
• Do not take it personally. Many such lines are just banter or nerves. See banter.
• Keep the frame. Do not start to prove yourself, justify yourself or chase her approval.

Example:

Her: “Do you say that to every girl?” You: “Only when it’s true. You’re the first one today.”

Criticism and limits

Calling everything a “test” is a trap. Sometimes a question is just a question, a doubt is a real doubt, and “no” or “I have a boyfriend” is a clear answer, not a puzzle. Treating a boundary as a test to “pass” is disrespectful and can make a woman feel unsafe. If she wants to end the conversation, accept it with a friendly goodbye.

It is also worth remembering that people of any gender test each other in early dating, by teasing or asking awkward questions. Meeting that with calm and good humour works better than a routine. If you tend to get thrown by challenges, work on neediness first; the best answer to a shit test is not needing to win it.