PUAmoreLove Bombing
Definition
Overwhelming someone with affection, compliments, gifts and attention very early on, at a pace that feels too fast to be natural.
Contents · 4 sections
Love bombing means showering a new partner with affection, compliments and attention far beyond what the situation justifies. Within days you hear “you’re the one”, “I’ve never felt this way” and “let’s get away together”, and the person wants to talk and meet constantly.
Plenty of people are simply enthusiastic and fall fast. The term is used when the intensity is out of proportion, or when it later turns into pressure, jealousy or control. Early intensity alone doesn’t prove anything about someone’s intentions.
Signs
- Declarations of love, big plans or talk of a shared future within the first weeks.
- Constant messages, with the expectation of an instant reply.
- Expensive gifts or grand gestures very early on.
- Hurt or anger when you want a slower pace, see friends or take an evening for yourself.
- The warmth changes to coldness or criticism when you set a limit.
Example
Him: I’ve known you three days and I already know you’re the love of my life.
Him: Cancel your Saturday plans, I’m taking you away for the weekend.
You: That’s sweet, but I’d like to go slower. I’ll see you next week.
How to react
- Slow things down on purpose. Keep your own routines, friends and plans. Someone who is genuinely interested can cope with that.
- Watch the reaction to “no” or “not yet”. Respect for your pace is the most useful test.
- Take time before big steps such as moving in, lending money or changing your life.
- Talk to a friend you trust. Others often notice a pattern sooner than you do.
If you feel scared, controlled or pressured, take it seriously and leave. Local helplines and counselling services can help.
How to avoid doing it
If you tend to fall quickly, remember the difference between showing interest and overwhelming someone. A related pitfall is oneitis, fixating on one person too early. Match the other person’s pace, and let trust grow through time rather than through grand gestures. A calm, secure mindset makes that easier. See also when does a relationship begin.
Keep reading
Keep exploring
- Slow Fade A slow fade is a gradual way of ending things. Instead of a clear goodbye, one person simply replies later, writes shorter messages and…
- Situationship A situationship is something between friends and a relationship.
- Talking Stage The talking stage is the early phase in which two people text or call, flirt and see whether they want to take things further.
- Zombieing Zombieing is when a person who vanished from your life suddenly comes back to life.
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- Average Frustrated Chump An Average Frustrated Chump is a guy who simply has no clue as to how to attract a female.
- Alpha Male "Alpha male" is a popular label for a man who seems confident, dominant and high in status, the one others follow and women notice.
- Beta Male "Beta male" is an informal label for a man who is seen as passive, shy, approval-seeking or easy to push around.
- Frame Control A frame is the point of view that shapes how an interaction feels: who is leading, what is serious, what is a joke and what the situation…
- Inner Game Inner game is the mental side of dating: your confidence, your beliefs about yourself and women, your self-image and the way you handle…
- Cold Approach A cold approach means starting a conversation with a stranger, with no earlier contact, no introduction and no shared context such as…
- Daygame Daygame (also written day game) means meeting and approaching women during the day: on the street, in parks, shops, cafés, libraries or on…
- Outer Game Outer game is everything other people can see and hear: how you look, dress and move, your voice, your body language, what you say and how…
- Peacocking Peacocking means wearing something eye-catching on purpose, for example an unusual hat, a bold scarf or striking jewellery, so that people…
- Hot Babe HB stands for Hot Babe (or sometimes Hunny Bunny) and refers to an attractive women.
- Banter Banter is playful back-and-forth talk: light teasing, jokes and quick comebacks that both people enjoy.
- Cold Reading Cold reading is a way of making statements about a person that seem highly personal but are in fact general or based on clues you can see.
- Disqualifier A disqualifier is a playful remark that jokingly "rules you out" as a match, or her as one for you.
- Negging Negging means giving a woman a backhanded compliment or a mild put-down, so that she feels slightly unsure and starts to look for your…
- Push-Pull Push-pull means alternating between closeness and playful distance in a conversation: a compliment or warm moment (the "pull"), followed by…
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- One Night Stand A one night stand is a sexual encounter that is both brief and casual in nature.
- Sex Drive High Sex Drive (Libido) refers to a man's physiological and psychological urge or desire to indulge in sexual activity with a woman.
- Kiss Close A Kiss Close or KC is when a man successfully kisses a girl he is attempting to seduce.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Premature Ejectulation, or 'Pre-Me' is the term given to a guy who exits (or, 'ejects') from an interaction with a girl much too soon.
- Mystery Method The Mystery Method is a pickup system created by the Canadian Erik von Markovik, who goes by the name Mystery. It is also called M3.
- Real Social Dynamics Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, is a dating-coaching company based in Los Angeles.
- Red Pill "Red pill" is internet slang for waking up to an uncomfortable truth. It comes from the film "The Matrix"
- Friend Zone The 'Friend Zone' refers to a situation whereby a man has found himself stuck in a platonic, non-sexual relationship with her a girl he is…
- Fuck Buddy A Fuck Buddy (FB) is a girl that a man enjoys frequent but casual sex with no real desire for making the relationship monogamous or…
- Long Term Relationship A long term relationship "LTR" is typically when a man and woman pledge exclusivity to one another.
- Let's Just Be Friend “Let's Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship.
- Flake A 'flake' is the term given to a girl who does not get back in touch with you after either the initial meeting or an exchange of messages.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Breadcrumbing Breadcrumbing means dropping small bits of attention, just enough to keep someone hoping, without ever following through.
- Catfishing Catfishing means building an online relationship under a false identity. The "catfish"
- Cuffing Season Cuffing season is the stretch of autumn and winter in which many singles say they want a partner, "cuffed"
- Gaslighting Gaslighting means getting another person to doubt their own memory, judgement or feelings.