PUAmoreGhosting
Definition
Ending contact with someone you were dating or texting by suddenly going silent, without any explanation.
Contents · 4 sections
Ghosting means cutting off all contact without a word. Messages stay unanswered, calls go unreturned and the person simply disappears, usually after a few dates or a longer stretch of texting. There is no argument and no goodbye, which is why it leaves many people confused.
Ghosting is related to the flake, but it is more final: a flake cancels or goes quiet for a while, a ghost is gone for good.
Signs
- Replies get slower and shorter, then stop completely.
- Plans are never confirmed and your last few messages stay unread or unanswered.
- Days pass without any sign of life, although the person is clearly active elsewhere.
One quiet weekend is not ghosting. People are busy, phones die and some simply text rarely. The pattern only becomes clear after several unanswered messages over a longer period.
Read nextSlow FadeExample
You: Had a great time on Saturday. Dinner again this week?
(no reply for three days)
You: No worries if it’s not for you. Just let me know.
(no reply)
How to react
- Send one clear message at most. A friendly “Seems like this isn’t a fit, all the best” closes the topic for you and costs nothing.
- Don’t chase. Repeated messages, calls or new numbers rarely change the outcome and tend to hurt your own mindset more than anything else.
- Don’t read too much into it. Silence mostly says something about the other person’s way of dealing with endings, such as avoiding an uncomfortable conversation, and little about your worth.
- Move on. Spend your attention on people who show interest, and stay open to new dates.
How to avoid doing it
If you are no longer interested, a short honest message is kinder than silence: “I enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t feel a spark. I wish you the best.” It takes thirty seconds and spares the other person days of waiting. If you feel unsafe or the person ignores a clear “no”, you owe no explanation.
Related terms are breadcrumbing, orbiting and zombieing, which is when a ghost comes back. For the other side of the table, read why some women don’t want a relationship.
Keep reading
Keep exploring
- Orbiting Orbiting is when a person stops communicating with you, often after [ghosting](/wiki/ghosting/), but keeps showing up on your social media.
- Situationship A situationship is something between friends and a relationship.
- Talking Stage The talking stage is the early phase in which two people text or call, flirt and see whether they want to take things further.
- Zombieing Zombieing is when a person who vanished from your life suddenly comes back to life.
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- Average Frustrated Chump An Average Frustrated Chump is a guy who simply has no clue as to how to attract a female.
- Alpha Male "Alpha male" is a popular label for a man who seems confident, dominant and high in status, the one others follow and women notice.
- Beta Male "Beta male" is an informal label for a man who is seen as passive, shy, approval-seeking or easy to push around.
- Frame Control A frame is the point of view that shapes how an interaction feels: who is leading, what is serious, what is a joke and what the situation…
- Inner Game Inner game is the mental side of dating: your confidence, your beliefs about yourself and women, your self-image and the way you handle…
- Cold Approach A cold approach means starting a conversation with a stranger, with no earlier contact, no introduction and no shared context such as…
- Daygame Daygame (also written day game) means meeting and approaching women during the day: on the street, in parks, shops, cafés, libraries or on…
- Outer Game Outer game is everything other people can see and hear: how you look, dress and move, your voice, your body language, what you say and how…
- Peacocking Peacocking means wearing something eye-catching on purpose, for example an unusual hat, a bold scarf or striking jewellery, so that people…
- Hot Babe HB stands for Hot Babe (or sometimes Hunny Bunny) and refers to an attractive women.
- Banter Banter is playful back-and-forth talk: light teasing, jokes and quick comebacks that both people enjoy.
- Cold Reading Cold reading is a way of making statements about a person that seem highly personal but are in fact general or based on clues you can see.
- Disqualifier A disqualifier is a playful remark that jokingly "rules you out" as a match, or her as one for you.
- Negging Negging means giving a woman a backhanded compliment or a mild put-down, so that she feels slightly unsure and starts to look for your…
- Push-Pull Push-pull means alternating between closeness and playful distance in a conversation: a compliment or warm moment (the "pull"), followed by…
- Day 2 Day 2 is the second meeting with a woman after you met her for the first time, for example at a bar, in the street or through friends.
- One Night Stand A one night stand is a sexual encounter that is both brief and casual in nature.
- Sex Drive High Sex Drive (Libido) refers to a man's physiological and psychological urge or desire to indulge in sexual activity with a woman.
- Kiss Close A Kiss Close or KC is when a man successfully kisses a girl he is attempting to seduce.
- Ejecting / Premature Ejectulation Premature Ejectulation, or 'Pre-Me' is the term given to a guy who exits (or, 'ejects') from an interaction with a girl much too soon.
- Mystery Method The Mystery Method is a pickup system created by the Canadian Erik von Markovik, who goes by the name Mystery. It is also called M3.
- Real Social Dynamics Real Social Dynamics, usually shortened to RSD, is a dating-coaching company based in Los Angeles.
- Red Pill "Red pill" is internet slang for waking up to an uncomfortable truth. It comes from the film "The Matrix"
- Friend Zone The 'Friend Zone' refers to a situation whereby a man has found himself stuck in a platonic, non-sexual relationship with her a girl he is…
- Fuck Buddy A Fuck Buddy (FB) is a girl that a man enjoys frequent but casual sex with no real desire for making the relationship monogamous or…
- Long Term Relationship A long term relationship "LTR" is typically when a man and woman pledge exclusivity to one another.
- Let's Just Be Friend “Let's Just Be Friends” is something that a girl will say to a guy with whom she has no interest in pursuing a sexual relationship.
- Flake A 'flake' is the term given to a girl who does not get back in touch with you after either the initial meeting or an exchange of messages.
- Benching Benching means keeping someone on the sidelines as a backup. The person stays in touch, sends a message now and then and may even make a…
- Breadcrumbing Breadcrumbing means dropping small bits of attention, just enough to keep someone hoping, without ever following through.
- Catfishing Catfishing means building an online relationship under a false identity. The "catfish"
- Cuffing Season Cuffing season is the stretch of autumn and winter in which many singles say they want a partner, "cuffed"
- Gaslighting Gaslighting means getting another person to doubt their own memory, judgement or feelings.