Kino Openers

The original list, credited to Tyler Durden, suggested pushing women, grabbing drinks out of their hands, hip checks, snapping bra straps and grabbing hats. Don't. Touching a stranger without her okay is not a pickup technique: it's harassment and, in many places, assault.

What's left is a good idea: light, friendly touch can make an interaction feel natural, as long as it's mutual and fits the situation.

Touch that works

• A high five when something good happens: her team scores, a great song comes on.
• Clinking glasses for a toast.
• A fist bump after a shared joke.
• Offering your arm to get through a crowd, if she takes it.
• A light touch on the forearm while you both laugh, once she's already talking to you.

When to use it

After the first few words, not instead of them. If she pulls back, crosses her arms or turns away, stop and don't try again. How touch builds up over an interaction is explained under kino escalation.

Why it works

Small touches she can return show warmth and confidence. Touch that surprises her or invades her space does the opposite: she feels unsafe and the interaction is over.