You: I need an opinion on something. I’m thinking about quitting my job and becoming a mime.

Her: (Smile)

You: When you see me doing my thing, will you put a dollar in my hat?

Her: I don’t know are you any good?

You: I’m the best. I have an edge on all the other mimes out there. (pause + eye contact) I talk!

Then go into how you’re going to spirit her away to some exotic foreign capital where you will mime while she picks the pockets of on looking tourists.. add that after stowing the loot… you’ll both streak through fancy museums all jacked up on Red Bull andecstasy… By this time she should’ve been laughing her ass off.

– Mime Opener by Authoritarianist

Category: Risky Openers

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