What should you not talk about on a first date?

Skip your ex, money and salary, heavy family problems, health issues, and heated politics or religion debates. Complaining about work or other people also kills the mood. None of these are forbidden forever, just too much for a first meeting.

How do you keep a conversation going on a first date?

Follow up on what she says instead of jumping to the next topic: "Wait, you lived in Spain? How did that happen?". Share a short story of your own, then hand the conversation back with a question. If a topic dies, switch with a light what-if or would-you-rather question.

How long should you talk on a first date?

One to two hours is a good length. End while the conversation is still fun rather than when you've run out of things to say, and suggest a second date if it went well.

What to talk about on a First Date

A first date can go from great to awkward fast, and most of the time the problem isn't chemistry, it's the conversation. The good news: you don't need perfect lines. You need a handful of topics that let her tell stories, and the habit of following up on what she says.

This guide is about topics and how to steer a conversation. If you're looking for ready-made questions, see our questions to ask a girl or, for later dates, the deep questions to ask.

How to keep the conversation flowing

Follow the threads. Every answer has a detail you can pick up. "I just got back from Lisbon" is an invitation: "What was the best thing you ate there?"
Share, then hand it back. Tell a short story of your own, then ask her something. A date is a tennis match, not a talk show.
Statements beat questions. "You look like someone who has a strong opinion about pizza" gets a better reaction than "What food do you like?".
Let silence be. A two-second pause is normal. Take a sip, smile and pick up something from earlier.
End on a high. Wrap up while it's still fun, not when you've run out of things to say.

7 first date conversation topics

1. TV series and what she's into right now

Shows, books, podcasts, music: what someone is into right now is the easiest warm-up topic there is. If you both love the same show, perfect. If you've never seen it, even better: ask her to pitch it to you in one minute. People light up when they get to explain something they love. Just don't pretend you've seen it when you haven't.

2. Food

Is she a foodie? Then talk about food: the best thing she ever ate, the dish she can cook better than anyone, the restaurant she'd take a visitor to. You're probably sitting at a table with a menu, so the topic is right in front of you. If she's vegan and you love steak, keep it light and curious. A first date is not the place to win a debate about broccoli.

3. Travel and dream trips

Talking about places takes you both out of the daily routine. Where was her best trip? Where would she go tomorrow if money didn't matter? Tell her about the place you've always wanted to see, and why. Cities work as well as beaches: a weekend in a city she loves can say a lot about her.

4. The "what if" game

What if you won $5 million? This game never gets old. It's playful, creative and shows how she thinks without feeling like an interview. Keep it fun and stay away from questions that touch on race, religion or politics. A few to start with:

If a movie were made about your life, who would play you?
If you could go back in time, which event would you want to see?
If NASA found a livable planet, would you volunteer for the first trip?
If you could talk to your 12-year-old self, what would you tell her?
If you could be any fictional character for a day, who would it be?

5. What makes you unique

Everyone has a strange habit, a hidden talent or a story nobody believes. Go first so she knows what kind of answer you mean, and pick something better than "I don't like vegetables". Something like: "I can only fall asleep with the window open, even in winter." Then ask her for hers. These little details are what she'll remember about you.

6. Would you rather?

A spin-off of the what-if game, and perfect when the conversation needs a lift. Fit the question to what you know about her:

Into the outdoors: Would you rather hike a volcano or go cave diving?
More of a homebody: Would you rather have the recipe for the best cake in the world or a first edition of your favorite book?
A foodie: Would you rather have dinner cooked by your favorite chef or eat at a street market in Bangkok?
Has tattoos: Would you rather get your dream design from a beginner or a famous artist's design you're not sure about?

7. Sports and hobbies

If she knows her free throws from her double plays, talk sports: favorite teams, the best game she's seen live, the sport she played as a kid. The same goes for any hobby she brings up, from climbing to pottery. If you support rival teams, keep it playful. Nobody wants to date a crazed fan.

Topics to avoid on a first date

Your ex. One sentence if she asks, then move on.
Money and salary. It turns a date into a job interview.
Heavy family drama, health issues, trauma. Important, but not for the first meeting.
Heated politics and religion. Values matter, a debate on date one rarely helps.
Complaining. About your job, your city or other women. Negativity sticks.
Sex. Light flirting is fine; detailed talk on a first date is usually too much.

At the end of the day, what matters most is being yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else to look more interesting; you can't keep it up past the second date anyway. Have fun, be polite, listen to her stories and let the conversation take you somewhere. If it went well, here's how to tell if a girl likes you.