Instead of booking an appointment with a couple massage therapists, let’s set the romance bar higher and give your partner a personal massage. Couple massages help to relax, lower cortisol and relieve stress. But most importantly, they increase your closeness level because the skin on skin contact releases oxytocin. This bonding hormone is correlated with the longevity of a relationship. Couples who keep their oxytocin levels high, stay together the longest.
Australia’s top couple massage therapist Denis Merkas, who massaged A-list celebrities like Pierce Brosnan or the Pussy Cat Dolls, has created his own course which helps couples to reconnect and get close with their partner. Check out his course to learn his techniques and enjoy more intimacy in your relationship!
Here are some useful tips if you want to start right away:
1. Setting the mood.
Pick some scented candles; just make sure that the scent is not too strong that might contradict the aroma of the massage oil that you will use. You may opt for cedar and pine, bamboo musk, juniper berries, sage, vanilla or white blossoms. These give off delicate scents that will aid the calming process. Make sure to have a safe distance between the candles and the massage-area. Along with the candles, you should also take into consideration the music to be played during the massage. You may download the ones used on spas – the sound of running water, soft bird chirping, violin being played, wind blowing or any other nature soundtrack. This will also drown away any outside noise and will eliminate awkward silence.
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2. Prepare the Basics
A. The Bed
It’s great if you have a massage bed but it’s okay if you don’t. You can easily do the session inside the bedroom or just set the mattress outside if you want an outdoor feel. Make sure the covers are clean because the oil will easily attract dirt. It is advisable to do the massage on a soft mattress because there would be pressure applied and you don’t want to sandwich her between you and the floor. There must be enough cushions to make it enjoyable.
B. Clean Towels
Have clean towels handy to cover the body and to wipe off excess oil. Choose soft and thick towels to increase comfort. Avoid using torn or rough towels as these will promote skin friction. Have one small face towel ready if you need to wipe off your perspiration too.
If you’re doing it indoors you may turn the AC on but don’t set it to freezing. Massage oils tend to have a warm effect on the body when rubbed so it is best to keep the right temperature to allow the air to circulate around the room. She will not be relaxed when it gets too humid or hot. You may also check on her to know if she’s comfortable with the temperature. If you’re planning to do this outdoors, avoid noon time. You may opt for an early morning session or later at night.
3. Choose your preferred massage oil.
There are a lot of massage oils readily available for you and your partner to try. Some of the most popular aromas are:
Peppermint – has anti-inflammatory properties and helps in blood circulation
Patchouli – earthy and promotes skin cell growth
Marjoram – alleviates tension and migraines
Chamomile – helps to elevate her mood
Jasmine – enhances her libido and a great stress reliever
Ginger – gives a warm feeling
Eucalyptus – improves concentration and breathing
Lavender – best for muscle relaxation
It is also important to note that you should never pour directly onto your partner’s body, put a little amount on your palm first to warm it up using your own body heat.
4. Start the couple massage session.
Traditionally, a couple massage begins at the back, buttocks and the back of the legs. After warming up the oil on your palm, spread it over the back using smooth strokes depending on the pressure your partner prefers. The back is considered one of the tight tension spots which should be the focus of some nice shoulder kneading. After back rubs and kneading you can now proceed with shoulder presses by moving and pressing your fingers along the shoulder blades. As you massage your partner’s back, refrain from putting pressure on bony areas like spine and ribs to avoid accidental fractures.
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After massaging the entire back area proceed with the arms, fingers and finally the back of the legs. If you have been attending couple massage classes, you may opt to do simple body stretches but this is optional and you may skip this if you are doing this for the first time. Simple presses are good for the arms.
Request your partner to lie on her back and massage her hands and down to her front legs. Be careful in massaging the inner thighs because this part is very sensitive and putting too much pressure may inflict pain. Always ask if you are applying just the right amount of pressure whenever you’re moving to a different body part.
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Finally, massage the head, neck, and face. Start with the forehead, move your fingers up and around in a circular movement. After a few minutes, apply the same technique to the temples. Then, massage the jaw and the lower cheek. Apply soft pressure using the fingertips and rub gently towards the ears. Finish the massage by running your fingers on her scalp and gently applying pressure from her forehead to her head.
5. Important tips and reminders
The main goal of a couple massage is relaxation. So it is important to remember these tips:
- Make sure your fingernails are groomed. Long nails may scratch or injure your partner.
- Limit your conversation to double check if she’s comfortable with the pressure applied. Let her bask in the moment and unwind through peaceful meditation.
- Make sure that your session won’t get interrupted. Turn off all electronic appliances and gadgets for the meantime. Both of you will need to keep your focus.
- You and your partner must not eat a full meal two hours prior to your session. Same thing applies to having alcoholic beverages.
- An hour couples massage is a good start. Do not rush the session or extend too much.
- Make sure that she is comfortable to be massaged in certain areas. If she’s going to be uneasy we are defeating the purpose of giving her the ultimate spa treatment.
A personal couple massage is one of the best ways to reconnect with your partner and to help her rejuvenate after a very long week. If done correctly, it will definitely improve intimacy and comfort level between the two of you. The best way to ensure the success of this bonding moment is to learn from an expert. This online course will guide you to do it the right way. You know she deserves it.