Cheating is wrong – everyone knows that. However, acknowledging it as such does not make stopping yourself from being unfaithful any easier. You need to have a plan. Below are the steps you need to take in order to stop yourself from cheating on your partner.
1. Determine your motive.
The first thing you need to do is find out exactly why you want to stop cheating. It is easier to follow through with a plan when you know the reasons for your infidelity. On that note, it is likewise essential to ask yourself if you really want to stop being unfaithful. If the answer is “no”, it is better to address your situation in other ways – end things with your partner, or suggest a more open form of relationship with them. Nothing is harder than doing something that is against your will.
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2. Identify what causes you to cheat.
Figuring out your reasons for cheating will make it easier for you to stop because you’ll be able to zero in on the root cause of your infidelity. To jumpstart this step, determine if your cheating is habitual or accidental so you can better understand why you were or are being unfaithful. A habitual cheater’s actions often come from a place of insecurity and a need for attention. Meanwhile, someone who cheated accidentally was most likely carried away by a moment of weakness, which led to them filling a void in their current relationship.
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3. Take note of the consequences.
Think about the effects of your infidelity on both you and your significant other. Knowing how much your actions can hurt your partner’s health and well-being can be a powerful motivator for you to stop cheating. Also, having a clear sense of what you stand to lose if you continue on this path will make it easier for you to start being faithful. If you’re a habitual cheater and the thought of your relationship ending isn’t much of a motivator, think about what your misdeeds can do to your reputation. Being unfaithful can also influence other relationships that matter to you, such as the one you have with family, friends, and colleagues.
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4. Be open with your partner.
The best way to stop cheating – especially if it has become a habit with you – is to give your partner access to your private life. Aside from preventing you from committing another indiscretion, this can also help in rebuilding your significant other’s trust in you if they are aware of your actions in the past. Show them that you have nothing to hide by sharing with them your passwords to your phone and social media accounts.
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5. Keep yourself busy.
Cheating is done for many reasons, but often these share a common factor – a surplus of time. This doesn’t mean you should work yourself to death or end every day exhausted so that you can stop yourself from cheating. Keeping busy in this context means spending your days purposefully – balancing your work with your hobbies as well as finding time for leisure and your partner. Doing so will provide direction in your life, strengthen your relationship, and keep your days filled with things to do, so you’re less likely to go astray.
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6. Avoid temptation.
There are two things to remember here. If you have just ended an affair, make sure you have no contact with your former lover. That may mean blocking them on or even deleting your social media accounts as well as changing your phone numbers. This might prove to be more difficult if you cheated with a colleague at work. In this case, the best course of action is to look for a new job elsewhere. If this isn’t possible, ask to be transferred to another department or office.
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This point also means not putting yourself in a situation where you’ll be tempted to cheat. Stop what you think is “harmless” flirting with other people. Show that you are in a relationship by wearing your wedding ring, if applicable, and talking about your significant other. Bring your partner to your social events if possible; if not, stay with a group.