Female Roommates

"I've been offered this sweet place in… I want to live there, but… I have to live with four girls. Like, four!"

"I'm going to get four times the boyfriend complaints, I'll never get into the bathroom… I'm gonna have to start showering at the truck stop, and you KNOW they're gonna synchronize. (Smile knowingly.) Heck, I'll probably start my period too. I'll have to leave the house for five days a month!"

"Did you know that's why primitive civilizations invented camping? All the women in the tribe would synchronize, and the guys would look up at the moon and go: 'The antelopes are moving, we have to hunt!'"

- by Tenmagnet and Tyler Durden

The original ended with a joke about date rape and a made-up statistic. We've cut it: rape isn't a punchline, and invented numbers make you look bad the moment someone checks.

When to use it

With a group that's already relaxed, at a party or a bar. It's a story, so you need a few minutes of attention. Not for a woman in a hurry.

Follow-up

Turn it into a question for them: "Would you live with four girls? Who was your worst roommate ever?" Everyone has a roommate story.

Why it works

Self-irony and a relatable problem make you look easygoing, and the question at the end gets the whole group talking.