Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Peter (Jason Segel), a composer for a TV crime show, is dumped by his girlfriend, the show’s star Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell). To get away from everything, he flies to a resort in Hawaii, where he runs into her with her new boyfriend, the rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). A hotel clerk named Rachel (Mila Kunis) is the first person to take him seriously.

What it shows about dating

Most of the film is about the stretch after a breakup: moping, stalking, comparing yourself to the new guy and talking about her to anyone who will listen. Aldous, the “rival”, is relaxed, funny and unbothered, and it is exactly that ease that Peter lacks. The turn comes when Peter stops chasing the past and starts paying attention to the woman in front of him.

What you can learn

• Moping is not a plan. Staying home and replaying the breakup keeps you stuck; being out among people helps.
• Calm beats resentment. Aldous’s easy confidence wins everyone over, Peter’s bitterness doesn’t.
• Be honest about where you are. Peter tells Rachel the truth about his breakup, and that honesty brings them together.

For the male side of this stage, read about neediness and oneitis.