Drug Dealer

Used with a wing at night, with funny, just-got-done-laughing tonality.

“Hey, I need your opinion on something… does my friend here look like a drug dealer?” (chicks usually either laugh or look quizzically)

“Because we were outside and some dude came up to him and touched him on the shoulder like this… (cheap kino on girl) and asked, ‘Hey man, you got some E?’” Ideally you will use this with a wing who doesn’t look too straight-laced.

I’ve done this where my wing will open with this and I’ll pipe in with “Since I’ve changed my look I get asked, “do I party” like all the time. I think they’re looking for cocaine. Another thing I’ve noticed is about 10 times a night I’ll get someone coming up to me and asking “can I bum a cigarette”… I don’t smoke but I’m seriously considering carrying around a pack… but not like regular cigarettes… like Virginia Slims 120s… then I’ll just pull one out and hand it to the guy and he’ll be all like “WTF?” etc…”

Category: Opinion Openers

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