People often misunderstand people and when we talk about men and women they are totally different belongings. They think, feel, act and react differently. I think men and women in essence purposely confuse one another. During first impression phase both parties have desire to display their best qualities and try their best not to reveal their true selves so this is how misunderstandings happen.
The different way of thinking
Women are detailed orientated as compared to men as they have different ways of computing and digesting information. They are different from men not in terms of physical attributes but in their attitudes to relationships. They are on different wavelengths on patterns of communication style, thinking, and feeling and in all other aspects. Men mostly communicate best when they are more definite and direct in their conversation. They convey their messages in an unambiguous term and their conversations are to the point. They are goal-oriented and they operate within boundaries they know about in advance and hence feel comfortable. For this reason, men talks better when there is a focused topic in their conversation with women. There are various ways women use conversation to be intimate with others and men are mostly confused by this. For women, talking about troubles is the essence of connection. They believe that sharing their troubles with others will bring them close to each other. Contrary to this men, however, hear troubles talk as a request for advice, so they respond with a solution. When a man offers this kind of information the woman often perceives as if he is trying to diminish her problem or cut her off. This is the fact that men don’t talk to each other about their troubles unless they really do want a solution; talking about their problems is self-indulgent in them. Men mostly don’t realize that his woman was simply trying to establish a certain kind of intimacy with him that is she is inviting him to share himself with her. These are those essential differences in approach that result in the creations of misunderstandings and the frequent complaints that women hears from men about themselves that is “women complain all the time and don’t want to do anything about it”. Men misunderstand the ritual nature of women’s complaining. Actually women’s communicating is more egalitarian, but it doesn’t mean that there is something pathological about men’s style of communication; it is the fact that women’s communicating also has its down-sides.
Men may never understand women, but they should try
Women are complex in their simplicity and being a woman, I believe that all of the great ones were misunderstood. We are creative thinkers and we don’t waste time explaining our selves. As it is rightly said, “To be great is to be misunderstood” by Ralph Waldo Emerson. And women are great, crazy creatures. They don’t want to give reasons and clarify their point of view that is why they are mostly misunderstood by men. I think it also stems from women’s ability to put themselves in some ones else shoes. It’s not something that every one can effectively do, and at times it leaves some people questioning their opinions because they can’t see the other side of the coin. I think it’s mostly men don’t understand women also because women are complicated wacky creatures with hormones going off kilter every month along with the rest of the issues they have! Women think they know what they really want and then change their minds in the middle of things. Just as they do they have lost sight of what this man is saying. If they focus more on the real needs of a man then this will no longer to an issue. Also this will help men to keep up with women. Men may never understand women but at least he will keep and to live contended life it is necessary for both men and women to understand each other’s nature. It is necessary to understand that why we are the way we are. Women often feel misunderstood and the men label them and give names like “bitch” instead of understanding WHY! I will like to give a simple solution to this. Men should discover their innateness and greatness. They are not impersonal people, they make impersonal decision.
How to understand woman better
1. There are some duties on the part of women as well as some responsibilities and obligations men should also need to follow. Women should explain their opinion, judgment and talking (process oriented) to her partner and let him know that she understand his way (solution oriented) too. When a women clarifies her partner that how different she is from him, it will certainly ease up the tension between the two. Men should also listen to opinions of the women although it is hard task on the part of man but it is necessary to satisfy their soul.
2. Secondly, whenever there is problem with either man or woman, give him/her time to come up with an answer. Ask question like, do you want to talk about this matter now, or would you rather think about it for a while and let me know the answer later? This gives him the opportunity to internalize the information without feeling put on the spot or fearful that he/she may give the wrong answer.
3. Thirdly, women often need is just a listening ear. They want to share their troubles and want someone to listen them and agree with them. They want not to be misunderstood by men.
I think people aren’t as attentive as they should be or could be. If everyone focused more on what others were truly saying fewer misunderstandings would occur.