The Relationship with her Father

No doubt girls are the mirror image of their mothers and their relations with their mothers are important to them all their lives. Mothers play a vital role in grooming their personality no matter, they are uneducated or unprofessional. They act as a role model for them. They help out them in every field of life and try their best to support them through thick and thin. The important thing here is that not only mothers but fathers also play significant role in girls’ life.

Father’s role in the development of a young girl is considerable and essential. Fathers and as well as daughters have some responsibilities. Fathers are considered responsible to provide love, affection, care and shelter to their daughter; assist them and provide open communication opportunities. Moreover, help them in making best and suitable choices, building healthy relations and how to be successful socially, academically, occupationally, how to carry yourself. Hence, father influences his daughter at each and every stage of development.

It is a common observation that mostly in our daily routine, we learn things through association. Especially, in case of children this thing is more prominent. They associate the things in their early childhood and that remains prevalent through out their lives then. For example, if any girl was exposed to aggressive and highly violent behavior of her father in her childhood, she will obviously perceive the nature of males as aggressive because the first men she encountered in her life was aggressive. In short, she will associate male gender with belligerence. She will react towards male in the same manner and will recognize each male in the same way as her father was i.e supercilious, unsympathetic and aggressive. Therefore the early impact of father, in her daughter’s life, is very important in her later life in building new relations. The most important thing in predicting her future relationships with men is how the relationship with her father grows. It can be in positive way or negative.

“The quality of a daughter’s relationship with her father is always affecting her relationships with men – either in good ways or in bad ways,” (Dr Linda Nielsen).

Girls who are exposed to trust worthy relations in their childhood will tend to have trust worthy relations with men in adulthood. Girls who spent time with their fathers, had sharing behaviors, good quality communication and high level of trust in their fathers will definitely have better communication and sharing behaviors with their boy friends or their husbands. Having protected, safe and secure relation with fathers will help them in building positive relation with their partners too. Fathers help, support and builds confidence in their daughters. They facilitate them in social, educational, occupational and almost every field of life and this thing makes them self-sufficient, autonomous and self-reliant and is helpful in nurturing their talent. Hence they will be stable, secure, confident and successful in their lives.

When they will have positive experience with their fathers they will definitely have to face less trouble in creating, maintaining and preserving their relations with men. When a male figure, (your father) value you, respects you, makes you feel happy and assures you of your intelligence then surely you can have a future life full of joy and pleasure. In short, fathers are most important figure of ones life. We can learn from them a lot as they have so many life experiences and knowledge that can lead us to prosperous life. Merely, the presence of father provides courage, and the girl will have positive image of the opposite sex, will view them with confidence and trust.

But what if the father seen in childhood was aggressive, domineering, alcoholic, and abusive? Was interested in other women and spent little time with her and her mother and in that little time too, both mother and daughter remain target of his cruelty. What if she was ignored in her early periods of development? When all girls were dropped school by their father and when she saw only her mother coming on annual parent teachers meeting? Will it affect the girl’s later relations with men? Will it hinder in creating trustworthy relation with men?

And what if father had second marriage when she was of only 6? Or what if father had left her alone when she needs him most? Or was died or murdered? Will she be thirsty of his love and affection? Will she have confidence in male figure? Will it affect her later life?

Yes, it will. If the father model is negative, girls will be afraid of initiating and maintaining new relations. The male figure will be frightening and alarming to them. They will be fearful and doubtful for them. The girl who was grown up in such circumstances i.e fatherless childhood, had not experienced love, affection and warmth of her father, will be afraid and will show resistance in making new relation with men. She will have trouble in building trust worthy relations. Not only with men but in every field she will be less confident, dependent and insufficient. She will feel insecure, self doubting and apprehensive.

If her father had second marriage during her childhood she will recognize male figure as selfish, worldly, materialistic, self-centered and self-interested. She will avoid making new relations because she will be doubtful that one day her boyfriend/ husband will also leave her alone and will go away with some other creature. Similarly, if her parents were divorced she will avoid short-term relationships. Hence it is fact that fatherless daughters are more prone to develop promiscuous attitudes and have great difficulties in developing, maintaining and forming lasting romantic relations with men.