When to kiss her – External Factors

Most PUA’s suggest that, in order to avoid the friend zone, you should kiss the girl as soon as possible. However I have found that it can be worse to kiss her too soon, even if she is totally into you! The opportunity window is different with every girl and situation and you can lose your chance if you pick the wrong time. You may have heard about different signs that show she is attracted and ready to kiss, but there are also external considerations which play an important role in deciding when to kiss her:

Internal Factors (are influences by External Factors)
1. Anti Slut Defense – How much she fears to be seen as a slut.
2. Attention Span – The current length and intensity with which she is capable of focusing on you.
3. Buying Temperature – How horny and desired she feels.
Here are two extreme examples to demonstrate how different the situations can be:

Here are two extreme examples as an impression how different the situations can be:

when should you kiss her

“This could get serious” Kiss-Scenario

Through your social circle you meet a girl who goes to the same university like you. She seems to be interested, you exchange numbers and meet in the park to have a walk. You notice some indicators of interest. She tells you that she has only dated one guy for 3 years and would never have sex with someone who isn’t her boyfriend. She is the sweet girl from next door and you can imagine the possibility of a relationship with her.

1. Her Attention Span is long: her focus is dedicated to you for hours without being distracted by other guys. Relax, give her some time and if you’ve got good game, she will get more excited by waiting. Attractive men don’t need to fear the friend zone.

2. Her Buying Temperature is mediocre: she may like you and feel attraction but that doesn’t mean that she is feeling the desire to kiss you right now. There is more for her to loose.

3. Her Anti Slut Defense is very high: she wants to appear to be a “Good Girl” who is only available for a relationship. The fact that you are sharing the same social circle and going to the same university raises her defense even higher because being easy is very close to being a slut and that title is the worst enemy of every girl. You also have something to loose; if you get rejected you still have to see her again at uni. She will probably tell her (female) friends about it to feel validated and detached.

Advice: Even if she is into you, it’s wise to not kiss her before you are absolutely sure that she won’t reject you. Behave attractive and you will see her again for sure. Go for the kiss on the second or third date, but don’t wait longer than the fifth.

“I wanna have Fun” Kiss-Scenario

You are in a Nightclub in Las Vegas dancing with a hot girl that you’ve approached 2 minutes before. Even though you didn’t exchange any words, she seems to be comfortable around you and doesn’t back off when you make a step closer to her.

1. Her Attention Span is super short, there are many guys around who could fulfil her needs, because of the large choice, every guy gets only a few seconds and if he does something wrong, she will next him.

2. Her buying temperature is extremely high as in most nightclubs. Girls are dressed sexy, because they want attention and fun, and eager looks from males, who are competing over the hottest girls, create a noticeable sexual tension. The feeling of being desired gives them validation and raises their buying temperature to the maximum.

3. Her Anti Slut Defense is nearly gone. In general it’s much lower in night clubs because it’s social accepted to kiss a stranger “for fun” and not as much of a “big deal” as in the daytime. Additionally the word “vegas” plays an important role. The only thing thats holding girls back to behave like us is their fear of loosing their reputation but on vacation they don’t give a fuck, because “what happens in vegas, stays in vegas”; nobody knows them. Getting or at least acting a little drunk gives them another excuse to behave slutty, because they “weren’t really in control”. A lot of times they also pretend that nothing has happened because they can’t remember or had a black out.

Advice: No time to play it safe, try to escalate and kiss her as soon as possible, if it doesn’t work, move on to the next girl. Everything is fast, superficial and has a short window of opportunity, so take whatever you can get or someone else will.