PUAmore https://puamore.com Dating Advice for Men Wed, 30 Oct 2019 16:23:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 How to Catch a Cheater – Top 6 Ways https://puamore.com/how-to-catch-a-cheater/ Wed, 30 Oct 2019 16:12:36 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24428 Nobody wants to be cheated on, and that’s why when we have reasons to be suspicious of a partner’s fidelity, we become hyper-vigilant and try really hard to figure out what’s going on and who it’s going on with. The truth is, a cheater doesn’t want to get caught, they’ll try everything possible to cover […]

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Nobody wants to be cheated on, and that’s why when we have reasons to be suspicious of a partner’s fidelity, we become hyper-vigilant and try really hard to figure out what’s going on and who it’s going on with. The truth is, a cheater doesn’t want to get caught, they’ll try everything possible to cover their tracks. So, it’s sometimes very hard to put your suspicions out there in the open when you don’t have concrete proof or evidence to back them up.

To declare a partner as unfaithful, it is important to catch them red-handed, and how can you do that? There are numerous ways to go about catching a cheater. I will give you an overview of different methods and how useful they are. Let’s start with the not so good ones.

6. Hidden Cameras

Ever thought about bugging your own home so you can keep an eye on a supposedly cheating partner? Well, that’s definitely a bad idea! For a number of reasons, planting hidden cameras in your home can be catastrophic. Spy Cams are too easy to spot, and sooner or later, your partner will find them. They will feel betrayed and vulnerable. No matter if they are guilty or not, they will turn the tables and you will be the bad guy. Remember, you’re only suspicious; you wouldn’t want your desperation to wreck your relationship. As a security risk, for all you know, anyone else could be watching too without your knowledge.

5. Private Investigator

This approach isn’t the best one, either. It could have worked if you’re dealing with a partner whom you’ve caught cheating on various occasions. But it’s very expensive and quite risky too. Things could go wrong, and someone could get hurt. No one likes being followed and watched even from a distance, so think about it, would you want to spend so much money and risk someone getting hurt in the process to catch a cheating partner?

4. GPS Tracker

GPS Tracker might seem like a great idea. True, it’s great for keeping tabs on the whereabouts of a partner. However, it’s not going to blink or wave a red flag when your suspicions eventually come through. A cheating partner could be anywhere and still cheat. People who cheat on their partners sometimes do it in plain sight and still don’t get caught. For example, a partner who is cheating on his wife with his office secretary. They could have sex in his office or even in his car parked in the garage. The GPS tracker can tell you the location, not what they are doing.

3. DNA Infidelity Testing

Science is incredible! You can tell what’s been going on with an allegedly cheating partner from a DNA test. How? Just collect some evidence around the bedroom or anywhere else that suggests that sexual activity took place between your partner and anyone else. This could be something a hair or used underwear. Then you send it to a laboratory that compares the DNA to that of you or your partner. Shortly after that, you will receive a report, whether it was your DNA or that of a stranger. A straightforward and 99.9% secure way to catch a cheating partner.

Read Next: Top 3 DNA Indifelity Tests

2. Background Check

As the saying goes, the internet never forgets. Since we don’t feel like we are being watched at our computer alone, we often do things online without being aware of how much of it is stored in some database. Especially in the area of social media or online dating, everybody has created one or the other profile. A background check brings things to light that have long been thought forgotten. Maybe your partner is still secretly looking for new adventures. No matter if dating, criminal records or even sex offender registry, everything will be scanned during a check.

1. Phone Spy Apps.

Now finally, the best method to catch a cheating partner right in the act is a Secret Spy App. Imagine having access to your partner’s call logs, incoming texts, emails and even their social media chats in real-time. You can also see their browsing history, switch on audio or camera recording, and always know their location. It’s like a secret remote control for their phone without them noticing it.

Read Next: Hoverwatch Spy App Review

You probably wouldn’t want your suspicions to be true, but you do have to make sure of the truth. So choose the right approach and get your life back in control.

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Hoverwatch Spy App – Review https://puamore.com/hoverwatch-spy-app-review/ Wed, 30 Oct 2019 16:02:41 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24430 In this article, I will review the Spy App Hoverwatch and show you how it helps to catch a cheating partner. They say trust is like a glass, it can be glued together when broken, but the cracks linger long enough to keep the memory fresh. You’d want a cheating partner caught so you could […]

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In this article, I will review the Spy App Hoverwatch and show you how it helps to catch a cheating partner.

They say trust is like a glass, it can be glued together when broken, but the cracks linger long enough to keep the memory fresh.

You’d want a cheating partner caught so you could move on without having to look at the lingering cracks of such infidelity. Here’s how the simple but very effective Spy App Hoverwatch can help you to catch a cheating partner.

Spy apps are used for a number of reasons. Parents can watch over their kids, companies keep track of their employee’s work, and now, you can catch a cheating partner after gathering enough evidence with the spy app Hoverwatch. Let’s get into the spy app Hoverwatch which is perfect for this very purpose.

Most of us daily employ the use of smartphones to communicate, and a cheating partner is no different. A cheater who obviously does not want to get caught prefers communicating via texts because it’s more discreet than phone calls and can be done anywhere and at any time, and it’s easily erasable.

Benefits of Hoverwatch Spy App

Even with that, the Hoverwatch Spy App is super smart. After having it installed on your partner’s device, you’ll have access to their web history, call logs, texts, emails, and social media activities. So, nothing stays hidden. You can take screenshots of all you’ve found as tenable proof of your partner’s infidelity. The Hoverwatch spy app is a hundred percent undetectable software, so you don’t have to worry about it being seen on your partner’s device.

You can keep track of your partner’s location at any time with the Hoverwatch app. Therefore, walking up to catch your partner in the act shouldn’t be difficult. Take the lead in safeguarding your heart from a crushing imminent heartache in the future. If you have enough reasons to be suspicious, don’t hesitate to look into it. The spy app is easy to use and very effective.

How to use Hoverwatch Spy App

It’s quite simple to use. First, open an online account on the Hoverwatch website. Install the Hoverwatch mobile tracker on the device you intend to track. Then you can track and watch everything ranging from the browser history, calls, texts, Facebook, WhatsApp, and other social media interactions from a distance with your own Hoverwatch online account. You can literally track your partner from anywhere.

It supports GPS tracking too, so you can know where they are at any time. With a spy app this good, you don’t just know their whereabouts, you see everything they do and how they do it.

Being cheated on isn’t fun. You deserve better than a partner who cheats and covertly savors the pleasures of infidelity at your detriment.

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How to Stop Cheating – 6 Steps https://puamore.com/how-to-stop-cheating/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 09:07:11 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24360 Cheating is wrong – everyone knows that. However, acknowledging it as such does not make stopping yourself from being unfaithful any easier. You need to have a plan. Below are the steps you need to take in order to stop yourself from cheating on your partner.  1. Determine your motive.  The first thing you need […]

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Cheating is wrong – everyone knows that. However, acknowledging it as such does not make stopping yourself from being unfaithful any easier. You need to have a plan. Below are the steps you need to take in order to stop yourself from cheating on your partner. 

1. Determine your motive. 

The first thing you need to do is find out exactly why you want to stop cheating. It is easier to follow through with a plan when you know the reasons for your infidelity. On that note, it is likewise essential to ask yourself if you really want to stop being unfaithful. If the answer is “no”, it is better to address your situation in other ways – end things with your partner, or suggest a more open form of relationship with them. Nothing is harder than doing something that is against your will. 

Read Next: 38 Signs that Your Relationship is Over

2. Identify what causes you to cheat. 

Figuring out your reasons for cheating will make it easier for you to stop because you’ll be able to zero in on the root cause of your infidelity. To jumpstart this step, determine if your cheating is habitual or accidental so you can better understand why you were or are being unfaithful. A habitual cheater’s actions often come from a place of insecurity and a need for attention. Meanwhile, someone who cheated accidentally was most likely carried away by a moment of weakness, which led to them filling a void in their current relationship. 

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

3. Take note of the consequences. 

Think about the effects of your infidelity on both you and your significant other. Knowing how much your actions can hurt your partner’s health and well-being can be a powerful motivator for you to stop cheating. Also, having a clear sense of what you stand to lose if you continue on this path will make it easier for you to start being faithful. If you’re a habitual cheater and the thought of your relationship ending isn’t much of a motivator, think about what your misdeeds can do to your reputation. Being unfaithful can also influence other relationships that matter to you, such as the one you have with family, friends, and colleagues.

Read Next: 60 Reasons why most couples break-up

4. Be open with your partner. 

The best way to stop cheating – especially if it has become a habit with you – is to give your partner access to your private life. Aside from preventing you from committing another indiscretion, this can also help in rebuilding your significant other’s trust in you if they are aware of your actions in the past. Show them that you have nothing to hide by sharing with them your passwords to your phone and social media accounts. 

Read Next: Can a Relationship work after cheating?

5. Keep yourself busy. 

Cheating is done for many reasons, but often these share a common factor – a surplus of time. This doesn’t mean you should work yourself to death or end every day exhausted so that you can stop yourself from cheating. Keeping busy in this context means spending your days purposefully – balancing your work with your hobbies as well as finding time for leisure and your partner. Doing so will provide direction in your life, strengthen your relationship, and keep your days filled with things to do, so you’re less likely to go astray.  

Read Next: Romantic Date Night Ideas for Couples

6. Avoid temptation. 

There are two things to remember here. If you have just ended an affair, make sure you have no contact with your former lover. That may mean blocking them on or even deleting your social media accounts as well as changing your phone numbers. This might prove to be more difficult if you cheated with a colleague at work. In this case, the best course of action is to look for a new job elsewhere. If this isn’t possible, ask to be transferred to another department or office.

Read Next: Is Flirting Cheating? Where is the line?

This point also means not putting yourself in a situation where you’ll be tempted to cheat. Stop what you think is “harmless” flirting with other people. Show that you are in a relationship by wearing your wedding ring, if applicable, and talking about your significant other. Bring your partner to your social events if possible; if not, stay with a group.  

Related:

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13 Signs of Cheating in a Long-Distance Relationship https://puamore.com/long-distance-relationship-cheating/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 08:57:29 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24357 The success of any relationship relies on the willingness of both parties involved to remain committed to each other no matter the obstacles that come their way. This commitment is especially required to make a long-distance relationship work. While some couples make it, others find themselves at a crossroads, especially when one is suspected of […]

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The success of any relationship relies on the willingness of both parties involved to remain committed to each other no matter the obstacles that come their way. This commitment is especially required to make a long-distance relationship work. While some couples make it, others find themselves at a crossroads, especially when one is suspected of cheating.

If you are in an LDR or a long-distance relationship, it is important for you to know the signs of infidelity. It helps to protect yourself and not be blindsided should your worst fears about your significant other prove to be true. The points below are some of the things you should look out for. 

Communication Problems

Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. Once problems arise in this area, there is a good chance that something is happening behind the scenes that is worth looking into. Perhaps they aren’t cheating and are just experiencing a personal crisis, but whatever the case may be, if you feel something’s changed, you should check it out for both your sakes. Below are communication red flags you should be wary of:

The way they communicate with you seems different. Hearing “I love you” from your partner is, of course, not a problem, but if they have been saying it far too frequently, you might be on to something. People who feel guilty often try to overcompensate by being kinder and sweeter to the person against whom they’ve done something wrong. On the other hand, if they stop professing their love for you, that may also mean something is going on. They may no longer be as emotionally attached to you as before because they’ve connected with another person. 

Read Next: Is Flirting Cheating? Where is the line?

They miss scheduled talks. If your partner starts canceling on your regular chats or video calls, that may mean you are no longer a priority to them. It seems like they are busy with something – or someone – else. 

They are hard to get a hold of. While it’s normal not always to be available to talk any time of the day, it’s reasonable for you to expect that they will respond to you at some point, after work, or once their classes end. If your partner can go for days without checking in on you despite your attempts to communicate, then there is a problem. 

Read Next: What is Micro-Cheating?

They prefer that they contact you, and not the other way around. If your partner is cheating on you, they will try to control when, where, and how you communicate to avoid getting caught. One of the ways cheaters do this is by telling their partners that they’ll be the one to call when they’re available, often explaining that they’re just busy and hence do not know when they can find time to talk.

They respond to your questions defensively. People who are hiding something tend to overreact. If you ask a seemingly innocent question and your partner reacts to it negatively, then there’s something brewing. Their reaction could be either getting annoyed or angry with you or over-explaining themselves.

Changes in Lifestyle

When there’s something new in your life, your routine tends to change. If you get a pet, for instance, you have to adjust your schedule to be able to take care of it properly. If you move, you might have to take a different route to go to work and leave the house earlier than you used to. The same holds true if a person is cheating. Since they have someone new in their life, a lifestyle shift is inevitable. At first, the changes are subtle and minimal – longer hours at work, a new office tradition of going out on Wednesdays, and purchasing new clothes, among other things. But as the cheating progresses, the shift becomes more and more noticeable. Below are the warning signs that your long-distance lover could be hooking up with somebody else. 

Read Next: Top 3 Infidelity Tests – Is your Partner Cheating?

Their routine has changed. If they have been staying out and checking in on you later than usual for no apparent reason, something or someone must be keeping them busy. The same holds true if there are other changes in their routine that they’ve failed to mention to you. Such as regularly eating out for dinner instead of staying in, or checking in on you in the morning instead of your usual lunch break chats.

They are always busy. If they no longer make time for you for whatever reason, then there’s something wrong. Your significant other is almost always the most important person in your life, so no matter how hectic your schedule is, you will make an effort to spend quality time with them. If they are no longer your priority, that’s a problem, as it means they are not that important to you anymore.

Read Next: My Girlfriend cheated on me, what should I do?

There are new people in their life. There’s nothing wrong with your partner forming new connections. LDR’s are tough, and they need to surround themselves with supportive people. But, if these friends take up too much of their time to the point that they start neglecting you, or there’s no one else they’d rather talk about than their “new friend”, you have a valid reason to be suspicious.

They have new interests. If you’ve been with your partner for a while, you know what their hobbies and interests are. It’s okay to try new things sometimes, but if they seem to be a little too interested and invested in their new activity, that’s a cause for concern. It may be the case that their latest hobby is spending time with another person.

Read Next: Can a Relationship work after cheating?

There’s an obvious effort to look their best. As with the earlier points, there is nothing wrong if they’ve started to pay more attention to their appearance. In fact, that should be a welcome change. But if you feel like they’re putting in a little too much effort, they might be trying to impress somebody else. For example, spending a lot of money on new clothes or having cosmetic procedures done to look better.

Lack of Effort in Nurturing the Relationship

If you’re the only one who is making an effort to connect with your significant other, then it may be a sign that they are no longer interested in a future with you. Perhaps you’ve grown apart, or they already found someone new. Watch out for the following: 

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

They shoot down suggestions of a surprise visit. Naturally, if your partner is cheating on you, they wouldn’t want you popping by unannounced. If you talk about surprising them “one of these days” and they start asking for details of your arrival and telling you that it’s not a good time for them, they are definitely hiding something.

They no longer plan activities with you. Having someone new in your life is exciting and admittedly, time-consuming. There is a chance your partner is unfaithful to you if they cannot commit to activities that you propose the two of you do. And if they cannot be bothered to come up with things you can enjoy as a couple. 

Read Next: Defining Cheating – Is Watching Porn or Kissing Cheating?

There are no talks about the future. The promise of being together in the future is what keeps most couples in a long-distance relationship going. If your partner no longer talks to you about certain topics, they cannot see themselves being in a relationship with you in the long run. These topics include: when you’ll be together for good, when you will start a family, where you’ll live, and everything else about sharing your future.  

A Final Word

All the points above point to one thing: there’s a problem in your relationship if they apply to you. As mentioned earlier, your partner may be cheating, or maybe your relationship is at its end for other reasons. Before you jump into conclusions, try to investigate further. Then, talk to your partner about your situation. Even if you do confirm their infidelity, take the high ground, and don’t do anything you will regret in the future. 

Related:

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Can a Relationship work after Cheating? 14 Tips https://puamore.com/can-a-relationship-work-after-cheating/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 08:50:23 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24378 In contemporary times, holding on to the same person has become harder than ever. With the availability of transport, technology, Internet, and mass media, at least XX one in five people XX in monogamous relationships have cheated on their partner once or more. No matter how romantic your relationship is, a simple act of infidelity […]

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In contemporary times, holding on to the same person has become harder than ever. With the availability of transport, technology, Internet, and mass media, at least XX one in five people XX in monogamous relationships have cheated on their partner once or more. No matter how romantic your relationship is, a simple act of infidelity can shake up everything.

Can a relationship work after cheating?

Fortunately, if there’s a will, there’s a way. Cheating doesn’t always mean the end, and everything can be fixed if both partners are devoted to returning the faith in each other. But first, the couple will have to go through a list of advice on how to recover from cheating. For the unfaithful ones, there are a couple of tips that will help them stay humble and remorseful during the recovery period.

How Couples can Recover after Cheating

Find the will to continue

When you have made a mistake, running from responsibility is the easiest option of all. This is quite common in relationships where one of the partners is caught cheating. However, relationship researcher Dr. Kristen Mark states that if a couple can get through infidelity and restore the trust between the two, then they’ll come out as a stronger couple. For this reason, it’s important to note that the healing process has to be a two-way street, and it will take different amounts of patience which is perfectly fine.

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

Admit your mistake

Of course, the first actual step to recovering from an act of infidelity is to admit you have messed up everything. Recognizing that you have caused pain is vital so as to show a certain level of regret and remorse. No matter what, you have to show your partner that you’re able to take responsibility for your actions and therefore are willing to do what it takes to fix the relationship.

Read Next: 60 Reasons to break-up

Talk about why this happened

Because infidelity rarely occurs as a result of a momentary lapse, many psychologists suggest that couples have a conversation about the reasons for the infidelity. This will help get things straight in terms of what the cheating partner is missing in the relationship. In this case, active listening is more than important as it will allow both partners to present their point of view. The goal is to understand the roots of your mistake and not repeat them again. Sharing how you feel about certain things is perfectly fine as there’s no shame in seeking help from your beloved one. 

Read Next: My Girlfriend cheated on me, what should I do?

Cut off your lover

Obviously, if you want to get back your significant other, you’ll have to dump any other person in the way. The Mayo Clinic notes that ceasing all interaction with the person you’ve cheated with is mandatory for proving your partner you want to fix things. Of course, it won’t be easy at all, especially if you’ve got used to the other person. But with the right mindset, you’ll be able to prove your significant other that you’re fully committed to moving forward with your relationship.

Read Next: 6 Ways How to Stop Cheating

Let the topic die down

After you had already discussed the issue, the best thing you can do is to let everything die down. According to psychologist Dr. Coleman, the best way to do this is to give yourselves about 15 minutes every day to specifically talk about the issue. You should do this until you or your partner has decided to talk less or even stop talking about the infidelity. Generally speaking, being constantly concentrated on negative things is not healthy at all and positive acts such as seeing a movie or going out to dinner can be a lot more beneficial to the future of your relationship.

Read Next: 38 Signs that Your Relationship is Over

Healing takes time

Probably the most important of all, you should realize that healing takes time. So don’t think that saying “I’m sorry” will instantly win back your partner’s love. According to Dr. Coleman, it takes at least a year for the betrayer to start regaining their partner’s trust. For this reason, trying to force things will only make the situation worse. After all, recovering after such an act is not easy for anyone and what you should do is let your partner figure everything out by themselves no matter how much time it will take them. In this way, you’ll show your devotion to solving the issue and moving on. 

Read Next: 15 Signs She is still Cheating on you

Be honest

Another important note, being honest with your partner is imperative to saving your relationship. If you’ve been caught cheating, you’ve surely lied about the affair at least once. This automatically brings down the trust of your beloved one. Even more, expect things to be worse than having no trust. The betrayed partner will be almost always suspicious of any wrongdoings, so you must be completely open and honest. This means not only telling the truth but also sharing everything your significant other needs or has to know. Of course, cheaters often complain that even when they’re rigorously honest, their partners don’t believe them. In such cases, it’s important to understand that it’s impossible to expect an instant fix. The betrayer should sacrifice a lot of patience to regain their spouse’s trust. 

Read Next: Signs of Cheating in a Long-Distance Relationship

Seek professional help

Last but not least, sometimes it’s good to talk to a third person about your issues. It’s not everyone’s thing, but visiting a relationship therapist or a family psychologist can help you sort things out from a different point of view. Moreover, a therapist can give you valuable advice on how to restore and maintain your relationship.

What couples shouldn’t do if they want to make it work

No matter how motivated you are, sometimes working towards bettering yourself after you’ve cheated fails. The reasons for this can be different. There are six common mistakes that betrayers usually make that can worsen things even more.

Passive truth-telling – To begin with, passive truth-telling, or not sharing particular information voluntarily to your partner, is a pretty common mistake in this case. What’s important here is to realize that failing to disclose pertinent information is just another form of lying. So, don’t try to convince yourself you’re not lying just because you’ve answered your partner’s question truthfully. You have to be willing to tell your partner everything they need to know without waiting for them to take the first step.

Partial disclosure – In addition to passive truth-telling, partial disclosure is another common form of mistakes that betrayers often make. Obviously, revealing only parts of the truth that will serve your purpose just won’t do as it will make your task of rebuilding your partner’s trust as hard as possible.

Belittling your partner’s reaction – If you really love your partner and want to earn back their trust, never try to belittle their pain. In some instances, the betrayers do it out of love but it’s highly suggested that you always respect and empathize with the betrayed partner’s suffering and healing process.

Acting like a child – A well-known behavior, playing the child’s role and acting like one is completely unacceptable and you should do your best to avoid it at all costs. 

Acting defensively – Similarly, if you don’t get the same attention and trust from your partner right away, don’t be angry because they’re probably going through much more than you can actually see on the surface. With this in mind, acting defensively or going on the attack is totally counterproductive in the case and you should refrain yourself from replying. Moreover, you should try and stick to active listening rather than getting angry over your beloved one’s reaction.

Expecting immediate results – Last but not least, don’t expect immediate forgiveness. Always remember that you have a long way to go to win back your spouse’s love and trust. 

Stats about the Chances that a Relationship works after Cheating

Generally speaking, most cheaters don’t admit their transgression. When they do, nearly half of the male and female cheaters confess their act of infidelity within the first week. In this case, gender doesn’t even matter. 

However, there’s a noticeable difference in the statistics when it comes to married and unmarried couples. According to the Health Testing Centers, less than 30 percent of married cheaters feel remorseful and tell their partners. In addition, almost 50 percent of the married waited for six or more months to tell their significant others they have cheated. This is not the case when it comes to unmarried couples as the percentages there are way lower.

As the study suggests, men usually admit they cheated, and the reason for this is guilt, while most women do it just because they want out of the relationship. Here, the status of the relationship matters too, only about 25 percent of married cheaters admit their act of infidelity. 

However, the most important of all is the statistics on post-cheating chances. The study shows that in more than 50 percent of the cases, relationships end immediately. Additionally, in around 30 percent of the relationships that give it a second chance, things don’t work out as planned.

Related:

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My Girlfriend Cheated on me, What should I do? https://puamore.com/my-girlfriend-cheated-on-me/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 08:33:20 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24383 If your girlfriend has cheated on you and you don’t know how to react and what to do next, this article will guide you through the hard times. Infidelity during a relationship is quite common and heartbreaking. It hurts very much to be cheated on. You might find it hard to trust or love again […]

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If your girlfriend has cheated on you and you don’t know how to react and what to do next, this article will guide you through the hard times.

Infidelity during a relationship is quite common and heartbreaking. It hurts very much to be cheated on. You might find it hard to trust or love again without holding back. The most challenging part of being cheated on is getting past the different stages of grief and then making very crucial decisions regarding the future of your relationship with your significant other.

Read Next: Can a Relationship work after cheating?

For most men, being cheated on is the peak of all embarrassment, they sometimes are unable to get past it. But whatever choice you make after the incident, depends on how well you deal with your heartbreak. If you don’t let yourself heal properly, you’ll only let emotions cloud your judgment, and that is not a good thing. Regarding what you should take after an act of infidelity, take a look at the following steps.

Deal with your Heartbreak

First things first, do not hold back from grieving. There are five stages of grief, and each stage takes you towards true healing. Denial comes first. You try to convince yourself that it didn’t happen, and your girlfriend didn’t cheat on you. You’ll find yourself recalling cherished memories and holding it as proof that the betrayal isn’t possible. 

Read Next: 60 Reasons to Break-Up

The next step is anger. Anger induced by infidelity can be very overwhelming. You’ll get angry at your partner, angry at yourself, and angry at everyone else. It’s perfectly normal to feel such anger intensely, but you shouldn’t act on it. Anger can be quite fleeting. You have to hold on to the better part of you, the more rational part of you until the anger phase fades out. Don’t sit around, waiting for your hatred to disappear all by itself. Talk to your loved ones about it, and get engaged in activities that make you happy. Also, do not deny the fact that you’re angry, accept it. 

Read Next: How to get over someone you love

The bargaining phase comes after the first, and the most intense waves of anger settle. When you’re at the bargaining stage, it means you’re healing properly. You begin to contemplate various decisions regarding how you should respond to the act of cheating. Usually, all the thoughts that come up during this stage are aimed at finding a shortcut to end your heartaches. You might start to consider the “what ifs” and the “if only I could.” Realistically, emotional pain can’t simply be switched with another emotion like a song on a playlist. And the moment you acknowledge this fact, then you’re ready for the next stage: depression.

Read Next: Is Flirting Cheating? Where is the line?

Depression or intense sadness is an inevitable stage of grief. It sometimes lasts longer than the first three stages. But in a way, it’s a good sign. It means you’re closer to the final stage. You might become quiet, reclusive, and very vulnerable. Allow yourself to feel this stage, but while you do, keep at the back of your mind that no feeling, emotion, or state of mind is forever. Everything eventually gives way to the next thing. Once the depression phase passes, you can get to the last stage, which is acceptance. 

Read Next: What is Micro-Cheating?

Acceptance is the point at which you get to see the pain for what it is. It’s the point where you let yourself feel what’s needed to be felt. You let yourself feel broken, you become cathartic, you let out your tears, you release your heart to the pain you’ve been shielding it from, and after all, is said and done, you begin to heal.

Talk to Your Girlfriend

Talking with your girlfriend about her infidelity might seem unreasonable. Well, it only feels unreasonable if you haven’t entirely accepted the truth. Talk to her, try to understand how it all happened. Do not rush it, it could take weeks or months to come in terms with all she has to say, but try not to dismiss the tiniest or the most trivial detail. There are many reasons why women cheat, they were probably drunk, and their inhibitions were lowered, they were feeling stuck in a relationship, and needed excitement or they needed attention and sought it out elsewhere.

Whatever reasons there are, it will never justify the erroneous act of cheating. Nevertheless, try to understand why your girlfriend cheated on you. Ask her if it was intentional, ask how long it’s been going on, and ask her if she’s emotionally attached to the other man. Take your time, be kind, calm, and considerate while talking with her. Your goal is to get the motive behind the infidelity. So, take it slow and listen. Don’t do all the talking, just listen. And even if you get to say a few words, be honest and avoid speaking out of anger. 

Take your time

Do not make any decision in a hurry after talking with her. Get away from the situation. Hang out with friends, go to the gym, read a book, watch a movie, do as much as you can to not dwell on the situation. Get your life back on track. Staying off the situation doesn’t mean you don’t care about what happened; it doesn’t mean you’re trying to forget about the fact that she cheated. You’re only trying to make sure that your life isn’t revolving around her unfaithfulness alone.

Read Next: 38 Signs that Your Relationship is Over

You need to stay in control of your life before you make a decision. Go on a trip if you can, and get away from it for a while. And when you’re back and ready to make a decision, be sure to do it only when you’re calm and rational. 

Make Your Decision

Do you believe a relationship can survive after an act of infidelity? Well, a lot of things are possible. People get back to their partners who once cheated on them and still stay happy, in love, and resolved to make it last. However, not every relationship can handle the blow of infidelity. Whatever you decide, be sure that it is the best thing for you and that your partner is on board. There is no point in trying to keep a relationship in which one partner has already checked out. If you’re willing to work on your relationship, and she isn’t, then walk away. 

One more thing, do not judge future relationships based on past ones. Because your previous girlfriend cheated on you doesn’t mean your next girlfriend will. Holding on to that assumption would only hurt you and your future partner, but you deserve more than that. You shouldn’t be the instigator of hurt in your new relationship.

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What is Cheating in a Relationship? https://puamore.com/what-is-cheating-in-a-relationship/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 07:54:12 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24374 Welcome back readers, today we’re going to discuss one of the most asked about aspects of a relationship: what counts as cheating? 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat Being in a relationship with someone you really adore is one of the best feelings in the world. It makes you a ray of sunshine, and everyone can […]

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Welcome back readers, today we’re going to discuss one of the most asked about aspects of a relationship: what counts as cheating?

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

Being in a relationship with someone you really adore is one of the best feelings in the world. It makes you a ray of sunshine, and everyone can see it around you. At times, it makes you even a better person. But here’s the catch, as soon as the honeymoon fades away, that’s when the real test starts. When the relationship hits a few speed bumps here and there, it challenges both the partners. And whoever can withstand this, can consider themselves lucky.

Read Next: 60 Reasons Why Couples Break-Up

One of the most common reasons why relationships end is cheating. Now in this day and age, as relationships are becoming more short-term and fluid, it’s becoming hard to determine what you define as cheating. Today we’ll look at two of the most common actions, which may or may not be considered cheating by you.

Is Watching Porn Cheating?

40 million American people regularly visit porn sites. From the playboy era of the ’60s to Virtual Reality videos available at a click of a button today, porn has become a common thing. Although it is still frowned upon, that doesn’t stop anyone from watching it. Porn is a booming industry, and many individuals are even viewing it as an alternative career path. The reason behind it is pretty simple, money. Platforms such as Snapchat have led to women being able to charge desperate men for their “services” and earn good cash.

Read Next: Is Flirting Cheating? Where is the line?

Now back to the topic, is watching porn cheating? There’s no simple answer to this as it depends upon the dynamics of your relationship. For some women/men, if their partners are watching porn and pleasing themselves, it feels like cheating. The reason behind it is because they feel that they aren’t able to satisfy their partner’s needs as well as that pornstar can. For others, it’s just a means to an end i.e., temporary satisfaction.

Read Next: Cheating Dreams – What do they mean?

Here’s my take on it; watching porn is not equivalent to cheating on your partner. Because at the end of the day, you’re only watching it to fulfill your sexual desires. You are not engaging in any physical activity with the opposite sex; you’re merely watching strangers perform sexual acts. Some people even imagine their partners while watching porn, and that is perfectly normal. Insecurity is a major part of why some might consider watching porn as an act of infidelity.

Does Kissing count as cheating?

Now, this is a tricky one. For around 60% of men in a survey conducted, kissing was not equivalent to cheating. To them, kissing is merely an innocent act that does not account for anything, and most certainly doesn’t mean that the relationship has to end. However, for most women, kissing someone else does mean that their partner may be interested in someone else, and that does translate to being unfaithful. It’s a slippery slope, to be honest.

Read Next: What is Micro-Cheating?

Let’s take a look at some hypothetical situations. Say you’re in your early 20’s and you’re with your new beau. You go to the club, get a couple of drinks, and your partner starts dancing with someone else, and locks lip for a moment. Now, what do you do? Do you end the relationship? Do you talk it over? Most likely, you will end it because this incident shows that your partner is incapable of restraining themselves.

Read Next: Can a Relationship work after cheating?

But what about you’re around 28 years old, and you’ve been in a happy relationship for about three years now. You leave your happy household for an innocent girls’ night out. During the night, you get a bit too tipsy and start dancing with a random stranger. By the end of the night, you end up kissing the person. Now, what do you? Do you tell your partner back home about what happened? Or do you forget about it because you were drunk and a kiss isn’t worth the trouble?

Read Next: My Girlfriend cheated on me, what should I do?

Now I will be very blunt about this, and some of you may not like it, but it’s the truth. Locking lips with someone is cheating. No matter how you may dress it up, be it you were drunk, or things just got heated up at the moment, kissing someone other than your partner while you’re in a relationship is most definitely cheating. The relationship with your other half may not end instantly after the kissing incident, and you two might be able to work things out for a bit, but the overall effect of being unfaithful will make it very difficult for you to sustain a healthy relationship. The main reason behind this is that your partner will start getting the feeling that he or she is not attractive enough to you anymore, or you are getting tired of them, which will make the relationship very strained.

Read Next: 15 Signs She is Cheating on you

Porn can have a very similar effect on your relationship. If you are watching porn, it indicates your partner is not fulfilling your sexual needs. Although you might think it is justifiable to watch porn to satisfy yourself, however, it is more advisable to talk to your other half about the issues you both are facing in the bed and sort them out. Similarly, you must keep in mind before kissing someone else while being in a relationship that it can be very damaging for your partner, and it can traumatize them for life even after your relationship has ended. It is advisable to break up rather than cheat.

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Cheating Dreams – What they mean https://puamore.com/cheating-dreams/ Thu, 10 Oct 2019 07:04:32 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24364 Cheating is a common theme in people’s dreams, but this doesn’t make having them any less disturbing. If your nights have been plagued with dreams of infidelity, take comfort in the fact that these may not necessarily mean there are issues in your relationship. There are many reasons for having cheating dreams, which are explored […]

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Cheating is a common theme in people’s dreams, but this doesn’t make having them any less disturbing. If your nights have been plagued with dreams of infidelity, take comfort in the fact that these may not necessarily mean there are issues in your relationship. There are many reasons for having cheating dreams, which are explored below. 

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

What Cheating Dreams Indicate

Abandonment issues – Perhaps you’ve been feeling neglected by your partner lately, that’s why you’re dreaming of them (or you) giving attention to someone else. Your dreams may also represent your fear of being “abandoned by the world”, which occurs when something negative happens in your life. This could be losing your job, not getting the promotion you want, or ending a friendship.

Read Next: 15 Sings that She Cheated on you

Boredom – The act of cheating is thrilling, and having dreams about it may simply mean you are bored and want adventure in your life. You may be looking for more in your relationship, or maybe you’ve just been following the same routine for a while now and need a break. 

Relationship problems – Your dreams may be a reminder that you need to work on your relationship and address the issues you may be having with your partner, the most common of which is a lack of trust. These may also be a manifestation of your intuition about infidelity.

Read Next: 38 Signs that your relationship will be over soon

Self-Esteem issues – Cheating dreams often come from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem. This is why pregnant women often dream that their partner is unfaithful. Pregnancy changes their appearance and messes with their hormones, so they feel unattractive, leading to a fear that their partner will cheat on them.

Guilt – Dreams wherein you’re cheating may be a projection of your guilt about something you’ve done that is against your values, or that you feel may affect the people around you, your partner in particular. 

Read Next: Most common Reasons to Break Up

Common Scenarios and What They Mean

What does it mean if you dreamed that you’re cheating with:

A former flame – Your current relationship may be mirroring a previous one (and will similarly end). Perhaps the issues you had then are the same as the ones you have now, and you need to look to the past to know how to repair the present. 

Your partner’s friend – In real life, this is one of the worst ways of breaching your partner’s trust. Since it’s a dream, you may be afraid of disappointing your partner and breaking their trust, and not necessarily through cheating.

Someone you know – There’s a chance you are attracted to the person in the dream. It may also mean you are neglecting your relationship in favor of the said person or the area in your life they represent. For example, your boss for your career or a friend for your relationships outside your partner. 

A stranger – It is likely you may have done something in your waking life that you know will affect your partner or relationship, and you are feeling guilty. It may also mean you have sexual desires that are not being fulfilled. 

If you dreamed that they’re cheating with:

Your friend – Your dream is likely a projection of your insecurity or jealousy towards this friend of yours. It doesn’t have to be a sign that there is attraction between them and your partner. 

Anybody – This may signal your lack of trust in your partner. If they have cheated in the past, this means you still fear them being unfaithful again. 

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Is Flirting Cheating? 10 Red Flags https://puamore.com/is-flirting-cheating/ Wed, 09 Oct 2019 17:54:52 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24389 In a relationship, a person is expected to commit to their partner. However, there’s a constant desire in us, and that’s the need to feel appreciated by others too. Complimenting your co-worker or having a simple conversation with a stranger at the bar might be as friendly as you can think. But to some, flirting […]

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In a relationship, a person is expected to commit to their partner. However, there’s a constant desire in us, and that’s the need to feel appreciated by others too. Complimenting your co-worker or having a simple conversation with a stranger at the bar might be as friendly as you can think. But to some, flirting is not healthy, unless you only do it with your partner. And there’s the contradiction. 

Read Next: 60 Reasons Why Couples Break-Up

To put it short, flirting is a way of communication that involves the use of charm as well as a person’s conversational skills. Usually, we do it when we’re attracted to someone, and that’s what most people understand by “flirting”. However, it may not be necessarily the point. According to many psychologists and relationship experts, flirting is a normal habit if kept in safe boundaries. 

Read Next: 16 Reasons Why Women Cheat

Of course, every individual has their own understanding of how things should work in a marriage or relationship. For this reason, there’s a big debate on whether flirting should be considered cheating or not. Depending on the case and the intentions of the doer, flirting might be nothing but part of an innocent and natural flowing conversation or the opposite. 

Flirting – 10 Red Flags

Surely, in most cases flirting is not everyone’s cup of tea, especially when you’re in a relationship. Of course, it’s a sign of sexuality and confidence, but doing it may seriously damage your partner’s self-esteem. What’s more, it can even ruin marriages and is generally thought of as cheating. There’s always a fine line between a harmless online chat and a dangerous dialogue. Therefore, here are some worrying signs you should take into consideration when you or your partner are flirting with a third person.

Read Next: Is Flirting Cheating? Where is the line?

Keeping it all secret

First and foremost, if you constantly delete your conversations, emails, and calls from the person you’re flirting with, then you should reconsider your contact with them. Hiding your deeds from your spouse indicates a feeling of guilt. In every relationship, trust is the main drive that strengthens the bond between the two partners. If you don’t think your partner would be happy that you are flirting with that person and you’re afraid to tell him or her, then you should stop. Ask yourself, “What’s the point?” and “Is it worth it?”.

Read Next: What is Micro-Cheating?

You’re looking for emotional support in that person

As should be expected, people share their most personal and intimate feelings and emotions with their significant others. Having a day-to-day chat with your co-worker or an online friend might feel just okay. But when you start looking for emotional support in that exact person rather than your spouse, then this is the moment where things become serious. Getting the feeling that another person understands you in a way that your partner doesn’t is really worrying. The playful flirting might quickly turn into something more serious. Of course, in some cases, you might just need to vent off, but you don’t forget that your loved one should be the one you go to for emotional support.

Read Next: Cheating Dreams – What do they mean?

You share secrets with them

Sharing things with another person rather than your partner is an indication of mistrust and even conspiratorial behavior. That’s emotional cheating and flirting of this kind might be harmful to both partners since you not only expose your spouse but yourself too. Make up your mind and decide what it is that you find attracting in that person you’re flirting with that you can’t find in your partner and whether it’s worth it.

Read Next: 38 Signs that Your Relationship is Over

Spending too much time flirting with them

Even if you’re obsessively talkative and flirtatious by nature, spending too much time flirting with one person is a huge red flag. If you’re unable to get over it and prevent it from happening, then you might not be prepared for a long-term relationship.

Read Next: Defining Cheating – Is Watching Porn or Kissing Cheating?

Using unique “inside” jokes with the person

Much like the previous red flag, having “inside” jokes with another person is an easily-predictable sign of flirting-turned-to-infidelity. Sharing a joke with an old friend is nothing to worry about. But flirting in an “unknown” language with another person in front of your partner can really hurt your relationship. And it’s all because the other half of the loving couple will start feeling excluded from the “circle” of intimacy.

Discuss your relationship and your partner with them

Similarly to the previous point, discussing your relationship and your partner with another person is closely connected to the emotional gap you’re looking to fill up. It’s simply disrespectful, especially if you’re sharing something that you wouldn’t want your spouse to overhear. Discussing such things is especially dangerous in cases where the flirting is done through social media and online interaction. On the Internet, it’s very difficult to see the thin line between having a conversation and a seductive chat with a person you don’t always know very well.

Sexual Flirting

Frankly, flirting in a sexual way like dirty talk or even sexting is plain cheating. Even though it’s not always intentional or obvious, you should be wary of your conversations getting too deep into your sexual fantasies. All in all, if your communication sounds like foreplay or an overture of subtle sexual overtones, then you should stop flirting with that person immediately. 

Acting defensive and rationalizing 

As cliché as it may seem, the phrase “He’s just a friend” is still very common among those who are trying to rationalize their flirting habits. If you’re flirting with another person and believe it’s that easy to come out and tell your partner, you’re wrong. If you deny the facts, then you need to come to terms with yourself because you obviously feel guilty deep inside. You’re in a constant need of justifying your new “friendship”.

Being manipulative and rebellious

Finally, although it may not be that serious, flirting with another person just to make your partner jealous won’t do any good. Of course, seeking out an admirer to flirt with will certainly manipulate your significant other into taking notice of you. To some extent, it can be effective. However, you should bear in mind that there are healthier ways to increase your self-esteem and regain your confidence.

How to flirt in a harmless way

To conclude, flirting can be both cheating and a harmless and happy conversation. It all depends on the way you do it and the people you do it with. Using gestures and voice alterations are definitely harmless, and the end game is just having a healthy conversation. But if you get touchy or dirty-talking, then you should reconsider your bad habit even if it feeds your ego and makes you feel appreciated.

If you happen to cross the line, there are a few steps to sorting things out or at least trying. Firstly, you should admit your mistake. It’s important to show that you’re really remorseful and want to fix things. Secondly, you should ask yourself why you did it and the reasons behind this. Some psychologists even recommend looking into the future and how it could look like with the person who you’re flirting with. In most cases, it’s not worth it. Being honest will always prevail, and addressing your problems and needs will relieve you of the urge to flirt with harmful intents. 

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What is Micro-Cheating? https://puamore.com/micro-cheating/ Wed, 09 Oct 2019 17:30:21 +0000 https://puamore.com/?p=24387 Infidelity is heartbreaking. It results in a lot of pain and very chaotic thoughts. To many, cheating involves having sexual relations with other people and betraying your partner’s trust. But, there’s more to cheating than sex. There’s also emotional cheating and micro-cheating. Micro-Cheating Definition The term micro-cheating seems to carry less validity. Nonetheless, it’s still […]

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Infidelity is heartbreaking. It results in a lot of pain and very chaotic thoughts. To many, cheating involves having sexual relations with other people and betraying your partner’s trust. But, there’s more to cheating than sex. There’s also emotional cheating and micro-cheating.

Micro-Cheating Definition

The term micro-cheating seems to carry less validity. Nonetheless, it’s still as harmful as every other category of infidelity. Micro cheating is a lot like the deliberate inhalation of the puffed cigarette smoke without getting to smoke the cigarette directly. It’s a relatively minor romance induced act deliberately directed towards a person of interest. This automatically diminishes the value of an existing romantic relationship and one’s significant other. This kind of infidelity is relatively minor as there’s no sexual intercourse or physical act involved. To get a clearer picture of what micro-cheating is, let’s consider a few examples.

Examples of Micro-Cheating

Staying Active on Online Dating Sites

Perhaps, before you met your partner, you were engaged in several online dating sites. That’s no problem, but keeping such profiles active while in a relationship not just because you forgot about them, but because you still feel emotionally attached to “old acquaintances” on the platform can be regarded as micro-cheating. Still using dating sites or apps to communicate with other users without your partner’s knowledge can count as micro-cheating.

Read Next: Cheating Dreams – What do they mean?

Hidden agenda

Being in love with your partner doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t feel attracted to another person. Everyone gets that feeling once in a while. However, acting on such feelings, like having dates with a person you’re attracted to or chatting for long hours with them, can count as micro-cheating.

Read Next: 6 Ways How to Stop Cheating

Contacting your Ex-Partner

It can be tempting to contact past loves, especially when your present relationship is having challenges. Spending time communicating with your ex and reminiscing old times also counts as micro-cheating.

Read Next: Can a Relationship work after cheating?

Sexual Thoughts

Humans are sexual beings. And, sometimes we cannot help but feel sexually attracted to people who are not our partners. This is especially true in long-distance relationships where our loved one is not readily around to love us and satisfy our needs. Nevertheless, having regular sexual thoughts about another person is a form of micro-cheating.

Read Next: Signs of Cheating in a Long-Distance Relationship

Watching Porn

Nearly everyone has watched porn videos before but doing so while you are in a relationship could hurt your partner. In the following article, we discuss if it’s okay to satisfy your desires by watching other people having sex: Defining Cheating – Is Watching Porn or Kissing Cheating?

Flirting

Many people think flirting is something natural and healthy but others would be very upset and hurt when they find out their partner is flirting with someone else. But where do you draw the line? What kind of flirting is okay and when do you risk losing your loved one? We got into that question: When does flirting become cheating?

Now that you have a clearer picture of what micro-cheating involves and you can quickly identify the red flags indicating an imminent micro-cheating. Be careful so that you do not hurt your partner. Remember that trust takes a lot of time to build, and something as small as micro-cheating can put a dent in the trust. When you start hiding details from your current partner and no longer enjoy quality time with your partner, then you need to watch out.

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