Neediness

Neediness is a set of behaviours that a man will sometimes display towards a woman when he is overly invested in an interaction or when he ‘wants’ (or feels he needs) it to ‘work’. Neediness is one of the least attractive qualities a person can display to another. Somebody who is very needy reveals emotional insecurity and will be clingy and desperate in their endeavours. Neediness comes in many different forms. Here are some typical examples of needy behaviour:

 

  • Being overly polite to a girl: This is where a guy is afraid to tease, banter of flirt with a girl incase he ‘offends’ her. He filters himself and walks on egg shells around her, treating her like royalty or as being extra ‘special’. He hopes this ‘politeness’ will make her like him more, but in reality this shows fear and insecurity, and as such is seen as being needy.
  • Being overly fascinated by her: By acting in ‘awe’ of the girl, it suggests that she is somehow ‘beyond’ or ‘above’ the guy. As before, the guy will try hard to make her like him. When she says something, he will often glorify and place what she says on a pedestal, “oh wow! Really?”, “That’s amazing”, “Cool! Me too!”. A guy will sound constantly amazed by seemingly mundane, run-of-the-mill things she says about herself. It comes across as ‘try hard’ and as though he is ‘sucking up’ to her. This is classic neediness.
  • Fishing for compliments: A guy who is needy is insecure emotionally. As such, he will seek attention and validation from a girl. He will do things or say things because he wants a particular response back from the girl. He wants the girl to say nice things about him to make himself feel better and to get reassurances that she does in fact like him.
  • Over-keen to respond: A guy who is needy will crave a response from a girl. If he gets a girl’s number, he will check his phone all day to see if she responds. If she doesn’t respond after a day or two, he will text again. And again. And again. He basically ‘wants’ it to work. He’s very attached to the outcome of his actions and is desperate for girls to get back to him and respond. If she does text back, his messages will be long, full of questions and his respond times will be quick. This conveys that he has nothing better to do and is ‘phone watching’ and overly invested in the interaction, which comes across as needy.

 

This neediness comes from a lack of options and experience in given situations – most notably with women. The above examples are just a few of the major displays of neediness. To overcome neediness, all that needs to be done is the exact opposite. Don’t be so available and able to respond immediately. Don’t look for compliments or require external validation. Don’t be so ‘in’ to her from the off. Remain skeptical and reserve judgement on things she says. Challenge her on something if she says something disagreeable or stupid. Tease her and have fun (without being rude or nasty). Neediness is the one of the least attractive qualities. Don’t be ‘that guy’.