3 Second Rule

The 3-second rule is a guideline that many guys into Game use when they see an attractive girl. It simply means that upon seeing that girl, they have 3 seconds with which to open and interact with her. The main reason for the existence of this rule is to get you to approach quickly. Often times, a guy will see a girl he is attracted to but will hesitate and delay going over to talk to her for fear, shyness or nervousness. Not only is the delay to do with nervousness or a lack of confidence, but often a guy will delay approaching by way of an excuse. This is pretty common during Daygame, where a guy will spot a girl he likes, but will delay opening her until making the open is no longer possible or becomes more difficult (eg, she goes into a shop, her workplace, the underground, a car, meets friends etc… etc…).

This delay and build up of nervousness comes about through over-thinking the situation, or more specifically, thinking about what might happen – ie, the future. This is problem that many people experience on a daily basis – not just guys who are trying to seduce girls! Often when people become anxious, nervous, fearful, worried etc… They are doing so about an imagined situation that takes place in the future! To give two examples:

  1. Think about how you or others react to being stuck in a traffic jam. People usually become frustrated by the situation, sometimes even visibly angry. But why? Well, they are trying to get somewhere – work maybe, or a social event. They (or you) become frustrated, angry, worried as a result of what they think will happen to them in the future. For example, get told off by their boss, or have their friends annoyed at them for turning up late. What is actually happening when you are sat in traffic is… Nothing at all! In that very moment, you are fine. You’re sat still, in a car, probably with your favourite music playing and basking in the freshness of your car’s air conditioning. If you focus your attention on what is happening in that present moment, rather than thinking about a possible future scenario, the negative feelings will subside.

  2. Now apply the same principle to when you see a girl you are attracted to. That nervous energy you feel – the butterflies in the chest, for example – the ‘anxiety’ – is because you are thinking into the future about what might happen; “What if other people hear me and laugh?”, “What should I even say?”, “This will never work… I’ll creep her out… It’ll go badly”, and so on… What’s actually happening, if you are able to cut off the trail of negative thoughts about the future, is you are stood in a loud club, or busy street – probably with friends – looking at a hot girl. You’re fine. There is no problem. No anxiety, fear… It only exists in *imagined* future scenarios.

The 3-second rule is designed, therefore, to get you to respond to seeing an attractive girl before the onset of and indulgence in negative thought patterns. When you are ‘on’ your game, you’re almost virtually without thought. You’re acting spontaneously, instinctively and therefore confidently. Imagine you are white water rafting, or playing an intense sport. Are you thinking into the future or worrying about what might happen later on? If you are, your lack of focus could get you seriously hurt or lead you to make mistakes. Instead, you are are focused, present to each moment and acting instinctively, without thought. Learning to open consistently with the first 3 seconds will make your approaching spontaneous, instinctive and as a result, more fun, off the cuff and get you better results.