1. Girls, check this out… I once knew a guy who could burp for 15 seconds!! Isn’t that AWESOME?!!
Girls: (Disapproving laugh.)
Why can’t you girls be more like men? Huh? Why can’t you do cool things like US? Hey you, the blonde – I bet you can’t even squish an empty beer can on your forehead!
2. I was playing X computer game the other day. I was shooting people with a crossbow. One of the bad guys was very close to a wooden door, so when I shot him, the bolt pinned him to the door… so he was hanging uprights like that… and wiggling his feet in agony… and the door was swinging open with him pinned to it… Isn’t that AWESOME?! Girls: “Umm, no?” You guys don’t know what’s cool.
– Man Humor Opener by larrythecaveman