Importance of holding back your emotions

Most men think that the seduction process is over once you have kissed or slept with the woman. Truth be told, if you want to keep seeing her again and maybe start a relationship, it’s just starting to get real! You can cover your flaws for a few dates, but the more time she spends with you, the more she will be able to look behind the curtains and slowly uncovers who you really are.

One thing she is going to test is your emotional stability. Nature has designed women to be emotional creatures, while us men should be more rational. We are the stronger gender and she needs to count on us. She needs a man who knows what to do even when he’s in big trouble, he should be able to know which are the right decisions. This gives her stability and makes her feel safe.

The second thing is that she wants a man of higher value. This means he can have other women like her and therefore won’t be tamed easily, she has to win him over and proof to him that she is the right one.

There are some more points, but let’s concentrate on these two, because they are the most important ones and with one mistake you will mess up both of them: Telling her how you feel, before she does it. You want to be sweet and romantic and finally let it out. You might think that this will settle the deal and make her your own, cause you obviously don’t need any other ones. She will most probably react positively, but this is just her surficial response. Deep down it feels bad to know that she can have you. The excitement is gone, the tension is gone and you proved that you are neither higher value than her, nor are you emotionally more stable.

I have a great video example for this and I don’t care if it’s real or fake, it’s the truth, it happens just like that and nearly every man has experienced it, often without even understanding why. The video is from “The Bachelorette 2014” and it shows perfectly that from all the great man that she could have, she choose the one who kept his feelings to himself the longest.

We don’t directly hear her telling him her feelings and I’m not sure if she did, because I didn’t watch the show. I just found this episode and spend nearly an hour cutting the important scenes for you. Hopefully they won’t get deleted. But what we can clearly see is that she has these feelings and it’s very hard to keep them to herself.

She is a “strong woman” and she is the bachelorette, that’s why she can’t allow herself to let it out, especially not before he does. However it’s not that important because she already revealed her emotions through her actions. Notice how often she tries to get him to open up to her. It makes her crazy, every other guy has given her this validation and offering his heart but he doesn’t. He keeps being a price which makes him far more attractive than the other guys. He proved that he is emotionally more stable than her and he also proved that he has higher value.

3 thoughts on “Importance of holding back your emotions”

  1. Good article. I have had both kind of experiences and yes,
    once they know you are “done deal”, you are done.
    The laid back attitude helps to keep them interested, mostly in the beginning. The hard part though, its when you are in a long term relationship. that’s were it gets reaaaaally tricky, because sometimes that activates her insecurities and an insecure girl is capable of many nasty things, from cheating to leaving you without any remorse, etc. I once read from mystery I think or Strauss, that you should never allow them to think that they have you, but trying doing that to a long term relationship..its almost impossible or even very negative..it normally just explode in your face.
    Take care, Bohemius

  2. Good article. I have had both kind of experiences and yes,

    once they know you are “done deal”, you are done.

    The laid back attitude helps to keep them interested, mostly in the beginning. The hard part though, its when you are in a long term relationship. that’s were it gets reaaaaally tricky, because sometimes that activates her insecurities and an insecure girl is capable of many nasty things, from cheating to leaving you without any remorse, etc. I once read from mystery I think or Strauss, that you should never allow them to think that they have you, but trying doing that to a long term relationship..its almost impossible or even very negative..it normally just explode in your face.

    Take care, Bohemius

  3. You’re absolutely right Bohemius. It’s definitely much harder in a long term relationship. But the thing is that most people (including me a few years before) understand this wrong. The important part is how you define “to have you”. Of course she can have you, but she shouldn’t feel like she can have you no matter what she does! This means she should feel safe as long as she behaves nice and loyal. However as soon as she does something which is hurting you or the relationship, you have to react accordingly by freezing or dumping her. This way you are showing that you have enough self-respect. If you don’t do anything after she behaved badly, you are showing that you don’t have self respect so she won’t too. She will do it again and constantly loose attraction, because she “has you” no matter what she does.

    – Sean Winn

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