Avoid Flaking

[himage] Often times guys will get confused and frustrated by flakes. This is understandable, especially if you have been out for several hours – finally managed to get a number – only to have it flake on you. Mistakenly, they’ll often feel that their ‘text game’ is weak. The reality is that, if a girl flakes, it wasn’t because your ‘text game’ wasn’t good enough. The problem lies with the initial interaction itself. Most girls will hand over their phone numbers (or facebook) out of politeness, knowing that they have no intention of messaging you back after you have text them. The key to solidifying phone numbers is make your initial interaction with the girl solid. To make an interaction more solid, a few key things need to happen during the interaction itself.

Firstly, you must create attraction, preferably as early as possible. The best ways to create attraction are to demonstrate confidence, be socially intelligent and playfully tease, banter and flirt with the girl. The more fun and good, positive energy and emotions that you can generate and elicit in her and from yourself, the more she will be drawn to you.

Secondly, you need to develop comfort with the girl. If she is to entertain the idea of seeing you again, she wants to know you are a normal, cool and friendly guy who ‘gets it’ (as before with the attraction phase, has good social calibration/intelligence). Developing comfort with a girl is relatively easy, and mostly involves maintaining a conversation whereby she reveals a little bit about her self (what she is up to, what she does for a living, where she is from etc…) as well as revealing a little about yourself.

The other key ingredient to solidifying interactions is to establish rapport and make a connection. This is where you find commonalities between the two of you, such as mutual interests (travel, work, hobbies etc…). It is important not to become a ‘yes man’, and agree with everything she says or supplicate to the girl by saying things like “oh me too!”, “that’s really cool!” or “wow!”. You want to challenge the girl occasionally (if you disagree with something she says or she says something silly) but don’t be confrontational or aggressive.

A way of checking to see if a girl is enjoying the interaction is to recognise if she has ‘hooked’. If she has hooked, she will often ask you a question, start investing more in the conversation and her body language will signal that she is not trying to leave but is fully committed to talking and spending time with you. Often when rapport has been established, her body language and expressiveness will mirror yours.

In summary, getting less flakes means having a better, more engaging and fun interaction with the girl prior to taking her contact details.